In the days of yore (pre-1990s), we would reflect and revise before we sent out any important written communication. We would read and re-read our letters (whether they were personal or professional) and fill the trash can with our drafts before we mustered enough courage to send them out. This reflection served many useful purposes; it brought clarity to our thought process, made us “mindful” of the situation and the task on hand, and most importantly, helped us maintain etiquette and equipoise in our communications.
Now, thanks to Wi-Fi and our smartphones, we respond to e-mails as soon as we receive them. Sometimes we do not even bother reading through the entire message since we are already in the process of mentally crafting our response to the e-mail. These instantaneous responses are causing friction among people at workplaces.
I have learned valuable lessons from my mentors in the U.S. on how to deal with e-mails. Unless you work in the second or third shift, or have an important project deadline, do not respond to late-evening e-mails. And responding to e-mails that are hurtful, hateful or accusatory in nature, I guarantee (from my own bitter experience), is a recipe for disaster.
Often, whoever is sending out that late-evening e-mail has something on his/her mind that has plagued him/her for the better part of the day. It has festered in him/her and the only way to overcome it is to get it out of his/her system. Now that the ball is in your court, please suspend play. That is, do not respond! Believe me when I say that by responding you are going to make a bad situation worse, and that you will lose that point to your opponent.
For those of us who are on a day shift, as the afternoon progresses our productivity decreases and our moods deteriorate, thus increasing the likelihood of errors. Avoid responding to or sending important e-mails at this time. The best time to deal with serious topics is usually mornings, until an hour before lunchtime, and immediately after lunch, because well-fed people are likely to look on benevolently at themselves and the rest of the world.
I have also learned that one of the main reasons for insomnia is the constant checking of e-mails! No, it’s not that warm cup of milk or a warm shower before bedtime or the lavender spray on your pillow cover that is going to give you a good night’s sleep (with due apologies to the alternative medicine professionals). It is likely to be the disciplined use of e-mail that is going to give you your well-deserved rest at night. Set a fixed time and time limits for checking and responding to e-mails. I found my own cure for insomnia. When I switch off my e-mail access at 7 p.m. and retire to bed a couple of hours later with a P.G. Wodehouse, I enjoy good sleep, and wake up with a creative bend of mind the next morning.
I have also found that when an e-mail is confrontational, at whatever time of day it arrives it is best to sit on it for 24 hours before responding. Here is what you can do to address such e-mails. Put it aside. Take a glass of water. Get out of your chair and take a short walk even if it only is for a couple of minutes. Move on to other business. Talk to a family member or a very close friend or mentor (who is not in your company) if it is serious enough to upset your composure, so that you get it off your chest. Re-read the e-mail the next day, preferably, immediately after a hearty lunch. It may not be so confrontational after all. Finally, assuming your e-mail opponent has also had a good lunch, jointly tackle the problem during a face-to-face meeting. It may not be a bad idea to discuss the problem over a lunch meeting. With nerves soothed on both sides, you may be able to find a mutually acceptable solution. And a final reminder: The pen/send key is mightier than the sword; wield it wisely.
(The author is Professor of Strategy & Global Business at Williams College of Business, Xavier University, Cincinnati. E-mail: krishnan@xavier.edu )
