Have you ever chanced upon a fruit that goes by the name kharbooja in the northern parts of India? That round, firm, uniformly striped (though the stripes themselves could be a little awry), orange fruit? In English it is melon. If chosen meticulously, after having attended to the minute details of shape, size, aroma and colour, it could give a refreshing start to a hot summer’s day.
But that’s what everyone knows about the fruit. Nothing intriguing. What fascinates me, however, is the thought that this fruit could be a great metaphor of love. Let me pose a question, at this juncture. If you are ever asked to buy this fruit, would you lay your hand on a kharbooja that has already been sliced? It would surely not be considered worthy of the price with even the smallest chink in its wholeness.
Assuming that love is whole just as a kharbooja , we can arguably say in the same vein that love cannot become complete if it’s missing any one of its dimensions; implying that there are ‘many slices’ to love, or dimensions, to put it in a more abstract way. Love between a daughter and a father is one dimension (or slice), between siblings it is another, and the love of a pet and its owner could be yet another one. The list in never-ending. So, no matter how you slice it, Love can become whole only when it is experienced in its completeness.
Sometimes, however, it so happens that one dimension supersedes love’s other forms at some phase in our lives. But even then we must understand (keeping in mind the kharbooja analogy) that the overpowering form is just one dimension, or slice. Love, just as a kharbooja , cannot be defined by one of its forms only, as that would be limiting love to just one perception of how it tastes. Understanding love in this way, as an experience like savouring a kharbooja in its wholeness, could be quite exhilarating a thought, and a less heart-breaking one for those who are not satisfied with a slice or two, and wish to experience other forms of love.
Therefore, to put things in perspective — go forth and partake in love!
Love manifests in varying forms and degrees, and all of them, not just one, make it a wholesome experience for us. That is how it teaches us to embrace people we love just as they are, because each of them is a part of that abstract bigger reality we try to define as Love.
Despite this idea, we all have to pay a price, figuratively so to say, to know how it feels to be in love. So, even if we realise, during the course of experiencing love, that it was not worth the price, one need not give up on love, for there are other forms that we have not yet tried. If one slice of it has not stood up to our liking, never mind, there are plenty of other sides of love that we have yet to chance upon.
The only problem that I find in comparing love with a kharbooja , which is always the case with metaphors, is that kharbooja is a thing in itself. Once we have partaken of it, it’s gone. We can always consume another if we are not satisfied with the first and relish the experience again. With love, it is not so. It is not a thing. To experience it, you’ve to give life to it, with the person through whom you are trying to find it. That’s where the comparison ends. You can’t consume it and be done with it; then you’re seeing love through a narrow, selfish lens.
Love is a lived experience that you experience with somebody. One dimension of this lived experience could be more fulfilling than the other, but that’s how and what love is. That is exactly what makes love complete. Should we forsake, therefore, one dimension for a better and more fulfilling one? The answer can’t be a plain yes or no. It might be a bit allusive, but it’s out there for all of us to seek and explore!
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