There are three million Indians in the United States. Every other family appears to have donated a scion or more to make the U.S. an inventive and wealthy country. Married Indian couples living in America want their babies to be American passport holders at birth. This has caused grandparents to be in great demand at the time of confinement and as babysitters.
My aunt Kamala is an octogenarian. She lives with her last son and daughter-in-law in my neighbourhood. Ten of her family members are in the U.S. She has flitted in and out of America many times. She is a walking encyclopaedia on U.S. immigration and customs procedures.
The other day, I took a cousin, who was planning to visit the U.S., to aunt Kamala for advice.
“When you approach the consular officer, smile and wish her/him ‘good morning'. The officer will definitely ask about the purpose of your visit. Do not tell him that you are visiting the U.S. for six months to take care of a baby. Uncle Sam does not like babysitters to be imported. The country loses jobs that way. They have enough day-care centres. You must tell the officer that you are going to America to see the Grand Canyon, the White House, Disney World and the Yellowstone National Park,” said aunt Kamala.
“Will the officer believe me?” asked my cousin.
“You have no option. Insist that you are spending good money only to see the Colorado River streaming through the Grand Canyon,” she continued. I concluded that the U.S. immigration chaps must be extremely naïve to swallow that yarn.
“If I get visa, can I carry homemade food items,” asked the cousin.
“You are going for the first time. Better not to carry any food items. The U.S. customs are fussy guys. Carry, if you must, factory-packed labelled items only. You can carry branded masala powders in sealed containers. Take care that the label is in English and not in Tamil,' explained the aunt.
“Keep a weighing scale ready. Airlines will allow two suitcases of 23 kg each to be checked in and a 7-kg stroller bag as cabin baggage. Do not carry water bottles and battery operated gadgets. Airlines security is averse to batteries since they can trigger explosives and will confiscate them. Whenever you find the exchange rate favourable, buy some dollars. You will need at least a thousand dollars for expenses during your visit.”
Aunt Kamala, being a veteran, carries sweets, vadam , pickles and porulangai urundai when she visits her kin in the U.S. The last time she returned from the U.S. she gave me a few dark chocolate bars. “How was your stay in America?” I asked her while thanking her for the chocolates.
“Wonderful. America is clean. Airports in the U.S. are spick and span. You can drink water straight from the tap. The moment I landed here, I got wheezing trouble. The miasma of the airport here is sickening. In India, everything is untidy. It took three hours to come out of the airport here,” she vented her ire on her countrymen.
Her daughter-in-law is not impressed. “She is always boasting of America. Nowadays, she is having muesli for breakfast. Our son is also having muesli with his grandmother. As if this lady has never eaten idli or dosa ,” is her complaint against her mother-in-law.
Aunt Kamala used to serve me the best adai avial , a Tamilian delicacy. I was surprised that she had abandoned adai avial . I asked her the reason for the change of taste.
“ Adai avail , idli and dosa require a lot of preparation time and produce gas. Muesli can be served in 10 minutes. You can add milk, dry fruits and fresh fruits of your choice. A bowl of muesli contains carbohydrates, protein, vitamins and minerals. It has a low glycaemic index. You also try it regularly,” she recommended.
She also advised me to encourage my children who are in school to go to the U.S. for higher studies.
My wife became jittery. She told me not to hobnob with fans of Uncle Sam lest our children are afflicted with the American Dream and plan to migrate to the U.S.
(mailpsubramanian@ gmail. com)
