And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
— Abraham Lincoln
As the point of my retirement from service approaches, I am becoming deeply introspective, and observant too. I am on a search for a path to travel in the evening of my life. I have been watching many retired people leading their lives. Some opt for retirement community homes, others join ashrams. Among all I’ve watched, the life of my in-laws has seemed the best to me.
Retirement homes definitely serve the purpose for those who want to relax, without the drudgery and the hassles of cooking, housekeeping and so on. My parents opted for this kind of living even when the concept was new, some 15 years ago.
But from my deep study of my parents’ lives, I feel one is involuntarily pushed into the company of strangers. Of course it can be argued that over the years, friendships develop. But, after a life spent making adjustments with eccentric bosses, errant subordinates and stubborn colleagues, is it necessary to be subjected to a new challenge, that of befriending strangers?
There is the other group of people whose unquestioning faith makes them opt for an ashram kind of life. Indeed, they follow a rigid discipline of exercise, a balanced diet and prayers. But they seem to be leading a life that excludes many others; not all can follow their path or beliefs. Of course, a life of abstinence or detachment may suit some. But to be so different as to be alienated from the rest of the world is not my cup of tea.
Impressive quality of life
Indeed, the life that my in-laws lead today, impresses me. Even my late father acknowledged the quality of their retired life. They have filled their retired life of 27 years with joy and peace. They never spoke high philosophy or preached moral values, but practised a way of life that encompassed relatives and close friends, with whom they were always surrounded — so warm and so welcoming were they. Any niece from New Jersey, or nephew from Muscat, could hop into their home, only to be served a simple meal: it would be an ordinary upma or a crisp rava dosa , depending on what their menu is for the day. There are no pretensions or any effort to impress anyone. And everyone loves their natural way of sharing affection.
Over the years my mother-in-law has been of help to many relatives, be it an occasion related to a newborn or a family wedding. She has been a pillar of support for almost everyone who approaches her.
Warm welcome
My parents-in-law welcomed us warmly thrice a year, whenever school closed for vacation. As if that were not enough, she has taken care of my college-going son — he reminisces with nostalgia on his years spent as a day-scholar. The love showered on him and the moral values inculcated in him in that crucial stage of life for him were invaluable.
Her home was an abode to two of her office-going grandchildren. My father-in-law himself would open the front door whenever the grandchildren returned home from college or office — that was their way of keeping a check on the youngsters. Even today the popularity of my parents-in-law is to be envied. It’s their positive attitude that keeps them so healthy. Such a meaningful existence is what everyone should dream of.
My ardent hope for my post-retirement years is that my husband and I would be able to emulate their lives.
natsujan@gmail.com
