Being in the airline industry, my sister is an itinerant, and consequently her work required her to stay over in Bengaluru for one particular night when I was going to meet her. One of my friends asked me what my plan for that day was, and I told him, “I am meeting my sister for dinner.”
As I typed these words, I heard myself. I enunciated similar sentences over in my head. “I am meeting a friend for dinner,” “I am meeting a colleague for lunch”, but meeting my own sibling like this? It sounded as if she was not my own blood, but a distant friend separated by time and distance whom I was meeting “for dinner”. It dawned on me how much life has changed for millennials!
As children, we used to have close and distant cousins and relatives over at our house all the time. We used to lay mattresses on the floor, and there used to be genuine fights over who would sleep on them, because, let’s admit it, lying on the mattress for hours together at night with beloved relatives and narrating all the stories from the past till that time – the feeling is unmatched.
It happened recently when we stayed at my father’s cousin’s place in Bengaluru, and all of us consented, unequivocally, on one point — that those get-togethers with family were much-needed to cut through the monotony of daily life. Then there was the usual argument on who all were going to sleep on the mattress, and the day was won by the ladies. Sure enough, they stayed awake till 2-30 a.m., undeterred by the fact that everyone had to wake up by six in the morning to depart.
After the hour-long meeting with my sister, I realised that we have been apart for seven years now. Both of us had gone to hostels in college, and after getting our respective jobs we have been living in different cities. Life has changed so much since childhood. My eldest cousin called me a few days ago when I was in the middle of some work. I accept culpability for getting an instant feeling of being troubled in the middle of something important, but the next moment my stance changed when I realised that I did not even remember when we had last talked and that he used to be a loved bhaiya.
These little joys have long been lost somewhere in the hubbub of our modern lives. We have cocooned ourselves in the comfort zones of our homes, offices, and around a handful of people we are in touch with. Admittedly, it takes a bit of effort to call up that old friend from school or college, or receive calls from that aunt who often asks about our well-being, but all we feel is being disturbed. In fact, doing anything that deviates from the norm feels effortful, which is indeed human nature – be it getting up early for a gym session or restoring contact with old friends.
Let’s face it. It is inevitable to grow apart from old friends and relatives. It cannot be emphasised enough that change, actually, is the only constant. Flexibility is the only way to survive in this mad world. which will not slow down for you to catch up. However, nobody is telling you to stop for good, but just take a moment to yourself and reflect on your good old days. Drink in memories of time spent with your loved ones, and in that moment, and before it passes, ring up that old mate you have been meaning to, for many days now. Call up that old aunt and let her know that you miss the chhole-bhatoore she makes and that you would definitely meet her the next time you visit your hometown.
These things might sound a little ridiculous and a lot spontaneous, which they are; nevertheless, go ahead and do them. I will make a case in point with an anecdote. One night, I felt a sudden rush of gratitude towards a close friend of mine, who has always bolstered my confidence not just through pep-talk but by propelling me to do things that would boost my self-confidence. In that moment, I just felt like texting her how grateful I am of her being in my life, and then, I dismissed the idea almost immediately, thinking she might consider me a nut case for texting something out of the blue. However, I went through and did it.
My reward: she replied with things that made me grateful to have given in to the spontaneity. So, go ahead and do that ridiculous thing in your head, for these little moments of joy are the ones that make every day worth living for.
ananyaakhouri@yahoo.co.in
