This is yet another new year to celebrate, cherish and love. Since morning, I had a nice brunch, bought a New Year treat for my lab-mates and was feeling pretty good about the year ahead. In the evening at six, I started from my hostel on my daily walk (in order to accomplish those 10,000-steps-a-day new year resolution).
Unlike other workout routines, I actually cherish walking through my campus. Well, who wouldn’t? In the heart of hot and steamy Chennai, lies our 400 acres of lush green forest. Roads empty and canopied, where you could often spot a deer grazing by the side.
Finishing my round at 7 p.m. I was returning to my hostel. However, something seemed unfamiliar. I didn’t realise it at first. It was the red and blue lights of the police car that caught my eye. Walking closer I could see small groups of students, hear hushed voices, and finally I saw the ambulance. It took only a moment for the truth to register. A feeling of deja vu swept over me. I had come across similar scenes far too many times over the past four years I had been here in Indian Institute of Technology Madras. A young resident of my own hostel had committed suicide.
More than the news itself, what shocked me was the normality with which my mind accepted it. In the one hour I was away on my walk, lives had been changed forever and some poor girl not unlike me will never return home.
Yet, everything was so normal. We see it, we talk about it for a day, and then we forget it. We say “it was the high-stress environment” or “maybe he/she had some family issue”. We say that we have counsellors and trained professionals to help if only she had reached out to us. Yet, among all the speculation and justifications the fact remains that the suicide rate within this beautiful 400 acres is more than the national average. And in spite of all the professional help available, the situation is becoming dire. I’m neither a psychologist nor a trained mental health professional. But as a student who is going through the same high-stress environment, there are a couple of things I would like to say.
To all those out there who are depressed or think life is so hard: everything will pass. Your life is not defined by your CGPA or placement or publications. Things you consider so important and worth killing yourself over today, five years down the line they will make you laugh.
Look ahead and see the bigger picture. To all those who see or recognise someone in trouble, I would like to say: Lend a helping hand. Don’t turn and walk away. Sometimes an open conversation with a friend or a colleague can help a lot. To those in charge who can bring about some change, I would say: They will not come over and ask for your help. Depression is a state of brain-freeze for which you need a helping hand to climb out of. So you need to find them. Make things a little easier for them and give them a break.
And finally, to the parents I would like to say: support your kids emotionally when they need you. Don’t burden them with too many unrealistic expectations.
It is true that we know the few students and faculty members who have committed suicide here over the past years. However, the terrifying truth is that there are still many more who might be contemplating a similar path due to depression. Let us treat our mental well-being just as cautiously and lovingly as we treat our physical health. We need it now more than ever.
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