Life is a succession of events and retirement is one such. Here’s a little secret: foremost, there is no such thing as retirement anymore! Concluding your full-time career doesn’t mean being “put out to pasture”. On the contrary, it’s an opportunity to begin a new and exciting phase of life. It means paying attention to all aspects of life, including leisure activities, creative pursuits, physical and mental well-being.
Who among us does not yearn for the day when we will finally quit our job and begin a new life in retirement? Unleashed from a monotonous life. Obviously there are many, after years of working and scrimping, will finally pay off when we begin our second act, free to live each day as we choose to.
In fact, on my retirement, I felt liberated from all pressures. No more morning commute, no more idiotic bosses, no more stressful deadlines! Officially off the clock and the world was the oyster! I didn’t care what time I went to bed or woke up because to me every day was a holiday and every night Saturday night. Incipiently, a few days were great. Completely stress-free, but it did not last long.
Slowly, the joy eroded. At times I used to be happy about the freedom and lack of stress, and sometimes I felt the loss of personal identity and prestige, a sense of just drifting along aimlessly, feeling useless and unproductive.
I had no epiphanies, whatsoever. I did not have any world-shaking ideas, except to spend a good deal of time in the house.
Time at home
It does not connote a cloistered existence in a gated retirement or resort community. As a part of moving forward, it is a good idea to embrace the idea and spend time at home. If I am put out to pasture — let me explore the pasture. Having heard my wife tell my children several times that she ought to have been born an octopus — even eight arms would not have been enough to deal with day to day toil and strive, I thought I can assist my wife in kitchen to start with. Prior to this I had never taken my usefulness into the kitchen domain.
As in many families, the kitchen is seen as the wife’s domain, which she runs with an iron mitt. It was held sacred to my wife’s own management.
Since this is a great place to be of service to my wife and keep me engaged, I started learning the field of play. I started familiarising myself with the various kitchen items and where they are. In the process, I rearranged the kitchen utensils and the spice rack to make it better. Though it irritated my wife, she never bothered to change.
Perhaps she knew how to pick her battles to fight. Nagging me about cleaning up the mess was not one of them. Besides, a little piece of her smiled every time she saw the things laid out all over the place.
One morning, scooping up the coffee cup that was turned over on the table, she made her way to the sink. There was a plate and a small skillet that had egg residue stuck to the inside. She assumed from where her poor husband had tried his hand at making himself breakfast.
Possibly, she thought her husband was sweet enough in not bothering her to do it for him. She took the coffee cup, cleaned and placed it on the rack. Whereas, she scraped erratically the skillet to clean it up and contemplating optimistically that her husband is trying to render a helping hand and failing miserably, and in the process leaving her with more to do. This has left guilt somewhere deep down that I am adding to her discomfort instead of gratifying.
In spite of all this, she had a smile on her face. One: she must have felt at least I cared enough to try. Two: she is the type of woman who didn’t mind picking up after her man. As a matter of fact, it was sort of a pleasant feeling to know that she cares for me. After all, she is my wife and I am her husband.
It is her right as a woman. It was like a privilege. It didn’t bother her in rearranging the mess I create. In fact it made her smile inside a little when she came behind me anticipating a mess and to sort it out. Perhaps, it was her way of saying, “I love you”. And life moves on.
habeeb_ahamed@hotmail.com
