I have a birthday wish. A fond, but simple, wish. Not like the grandiose ones doting parents make for their offspring, or the hopelessly optimistic ones that teachers may make for their wards, but just quite as fervent.
In a few weeks, India will celebrate its 75th birthday. Though little more than a decade older than me, this age is but that of a self-conscious adolescent for a nation. Yes, that age when they can sweep you off your feet with their sweet wisdom one minute and drive you to the depths of despair with their obduracy the very next.
The teenage growth pangs are patently visible — the raging confusions around identity and self-image, the need for external validation over inner conviction, the propensity to make regrettable choices in a rush of blood, the brash eagerness to take risks and show off a prowess yet untested, the greater likelihood of preferring what looks attractive over what seems sensible, and unpredictable mood swings that keep everyone on tenterhooks. Isn’t that good reason to call for some “quiet time”?
Now here’s my wish, for my country — I wish it could become a gentler place.
Yes, just that; no roseate dreams of becoming a superpower or conquering new arenas, just a wish for us to be more courteous with one another. At banks, in public transport, on playing fields, in colleges, offices, and homes. Just gentler, more considerate, less adversarial. It is frightening to contemplate any future when people around you are already slamming, destroying, berating, poking, jabbing, roasting and tearing into one another. On TV news, in legislatures, on the streets, and in homes too.
Benign days
Memories of those days when TV news anchors smiled and sounded like they were beginning a fireside chat seem like something out of a fairy tale. News is now preceded by ominous martial music, and the news anchors sound and act like they are medieval generals conducting a battle. The metaphors of aggression are all around us, inescapably. Sports, brand names, advertisements, and TV shows continuously glorify and amplify aggression. Sporting encounters do not end with victories and defeats any more — they are always “crushing”, “smashing”, “demolishing”, “decimating” acts. And then, of course, movie titles and posters have always been most generous in adding to the gore. Have you noticed how movie stars in these posters are almost always depicted screaming, baring their teeth, with faces contorted in anger? About the only smiling faces on posters these days are those of politicians, and we know what that portends.
This ambient aggression influences behaviour. Fatalities resulting from road rage, social altercations, and corporal punishment at school are not uncommon. It is difficult to believe that this is the same land of milk and honey whose icons were apostles of peace like the Buddha and Gandhiji. Indeed, we may have got so used to the aggression, we may not know how to deal with courteous behaviour now.
I remember an incident some years ago while driving in Bengaluru on a rainy day. At a traffic signal, the brakes did not engage in time and my car gently nudged the one in front. No damage done, but the driver of the other car had sprung out in reflex, all ready to clobber me! He didn’t even bother to check if his car was damaged. As I rolled down my window, dreading the nastiness, I saw his face contorted in rage and put up my hands saying, “I am sorry, it was my mistake. Please let’s park by the side and I will settle any damages.” I vividly remember his face — frozen with that angry grimace still on it, mouth agape, lost for words. He was disoriented. He looked at me, then at his car, back at me, and then with a “Hrrmfff” walked back with a disgusted (or was it disappointed?) expression and drove away. As cars around me honked madly, the signal having turned green, I was the one reeling in shock!
How wonderful would it be if wishes come true, and mine had luck on its side, and we could be pleasantly surprised with civility, graciousness, and courtesy!
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