I watched Arrival recently. Much as would have many others in cinemas across my city and country. It’s a well-made movie with an interesting story. I am not writing a movie review; there are august critics who have dwelt on it scene-by-scene. I’m doing a self-reflection of my movie experience.
What sets my experience apart is the fact that I chose to watch it alone. And I am female, young female (40 is the new 20) to be specific, mother of a wise eight-year-old with keen piano skills and dainty ballet feet. I just didn’t find any friend, cousin, associate or anybody else to accompany me to a matinee show, and after much deliberation decided to wing it alone.
What is surprising is the amount of thought and energy that were needed to be invested on the right time, cinema and dress so as to be able to safely watch a movie and get back home. My 63-year-old mother had the question: “Why do you want to watch a movie alone?” My husband, on deputation abroad, had some “stay safe warnings” followed by even more “wise” pronouncements: “Don’t assume that just because this went well it means all outings will be hunky dory.” Unagi. Always stay alert.
Some questions
So it does raise pertinent questions on women watching movies alone in India. What about loitering or travelling alone? When I step out, my bag has to contain pepper spray and safety pins. There was a time it had a Swiss army knife, till airports banned sharp instruments and I was too lazy to be changing bags every time I had a flight to catch. I always glance furtively around myself. I walk quickly. I instinctively baulk inwardly when I see more than two men on the street either standing around or walking behind me. I dress conservatively when I have to step out alone.
I’m sure Rabindranath Tagore wrote, “where the mind is without fear”, for all citizens of India. And yet, how many of us walk in the shadow of fear every day? Professor Michael Kimmel put it right: “Privilege is invisible to those who have it.”
Borrowing a leaf from him, in the end it is all about gender equality and how you perceive the woman next to you.
Starting at home
Charity begins at home, is not an adage written on the sands of a beach. Forgotten when we move from elementary to middle school and beyond. It ought to be etched in our minds because good manners and habits begin with us and at home.
Respecting the ladies and girls around us and sharing the space on this planet with them will not dent any man. It will only seek to complete him and make the world truly a place where the mind is without fear.
My little movie trip was incident-free (a huge shout- out to Bangalore). I am hoping that this new habit blossoms and stays with me — watching movies alone, peril-free.
sangeethamenon@gmail.com
