The challenges before the sandwich generation

September 13, 2016 01:13 am | Updated September 22, 2016 06:56 pm IST

open page fahad usmani colour 060916

open page fahad usmani colour 060916

People usually worry about their young daughters who stay out till late in the night. Some people worry about the failing health of their elderly parents, while others worry most when they have toddlers to handle. Kids, adults and the elderly, in every phase of life we earn a different kind of attention. But today I am going to talk about the most deprived phase of life, where people feel they are but prisoners of their desires.

The Sandwich Generation! Yes, you read it right. Only a few of us might have ever come across this term, but most of us go through this most turbulent phase of our lives. This is the phase where we as new parents have to take care of our elderly parents as well. Those who can afford babysitters and live in a nuclear family might not sympathise with our Sandwich Generation, but for all of us who are middle class (who cannot afford the ayahs and the bais) living in a joint family can very well understand that it becomes very difficult at times to take care of everyone around you.

For all those who do not pay any heed to our miserable condition, let me present some facts so that after reading these you may not remain totally uncompassionate to our batch.

From baby diapers to adult diapers, we have to clean the most unclean things that exist in the world. With everything from gripe water to insulin, we have to be the best in-house nurses. We manage everything from vaccinations for our babies to ECGs for our parents; we are at times mistaken for staff members of hospitals or clinical laboratories as our frequency of visits to these facilities is high. We carry the little babies in our laps late at night, but we have also to wake up frequently to check whether our parents want the breakfast early so that they can have their medicines.

At times we fall asleep at the workplace and at times we become insomniacs. At times we fall ill too, but we immediately take some medicine and get back to our work — which does not allow us to afford an illness. Our bodies do pain and we need to go to a good spa, but who could afford it, and who has the time to spare? Female members of our generation face the worst as this twin responsibility breaks them not only physically but at times emotionally too.

Sometimes they have to make the choice between cooking the baby’s food or the parents’. At times our old parents also crave for our attention but they tend to forget that we are already undertaking a herculean task while looking after a baby. We have to plan our holidays only when some relative is there to take care of our parents in our absence. We make the arrangements with an eye on their medical test cycles, not according to the weather.

But what about our happiness, romance and enjoyment? Why don’t we get time to live our own life according to our own needs and desires? But no matter how much we feel shackled by just being in this generation, these little-big sacrifices we make are gratifying. When we peep through the window of our parents’ room while they sleep calmly, we also get peace. Similar bliss is attained when our infant smiles at any of his achievements — which would not have been possible without our help. Even after a tiring day at office, a lady feels blessed when she breastfeeds her baby.

It is my request to everyone: please don’t feel burdened, anxious, irritated and frustrated just because you are being asked to work a little more than others. This is a gift that god has bestowed upon us. Value your parents and love your kids, as the former had done the same for you and the latter will do the same probably, if you do these jobs selflessly.

w.a.fahad@gmail.com

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