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Hello, I am not for sale...

The next time you come across a lad, a prospective bridegroom, saying: “I am not for sale,” please don't discourage him!

Arjun was a little tense as it was the first of its kind for him. Even for Neeraja, it was the first time. Somebody said loudly, “bring the girl, it is getting late.” Neeraja breezed in and sat on a sofa opposite Arjun. He liked her with his whole heart. She too was impressed. The elders told them to talk to each other to clear doubts, if any. Both were left alone in the room. After talking about common things, likes and dislikes for a while, Arjun told her that he was not interested in taking dowry. A shocked Neeraja replied that her parents were rich enough to take care of it. She urged him to take dowry as it would help them settle down financially. But Arjun would have none of it. He conveyed the same to Neeraja's parents.

Neeraja's parents and relatives now had doubts about Arjun, and they concluded that he might be having some problem. Otherwise, why would he refuse dowry? But Arjun was very clear about his principles; he reiterated: “I am not for sale!”

Such scenarios do occur these days, making nice guys feel ashamed and confused. Yes, many boys have now changed; they are concerned about relationships rather than materialistic things. But this truth is not yet accepted by parents.

One of my friends is not interested in taking dowry. His parents say they will accept it initially and after marriage will give it back to his in-laws. If they reject dowry in the beginning, the bride's parents and relatives may misunderstand them, thus jeopardising the marriage.

Very few people understand such noble young men and their idealism. Many prospective brides themselves do not trust them. Even most girls are not in a position to believe these nice guys. Websites like www.idontwantdowry.com are devoted to the noble cause. Many girls as well as their parents are inclined towards rich guys.

In some instances, girls and their parents talk about good qualities in young men, but that is only lip service. How many times nice guys come across the familiar lines: “You have very good values, definitely you will get a good girl, wish you all the best!”

The best part is that these young men, despite rejections, never compromise on their principles. The next time you come across a lad saying: “I am not for sale,” please don't discourage him!

( The writer's email id is: raj5_1885@yahoo.co.in)

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Printable version | Jul 1, 2020 2:24:25 PM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/open-page/Hello-I-am-not-for-sale.../article15411874.ece

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