letter from a concerned reader Opinion

Mr. Mathrubootham narrates the story of 'the greatest irritation in the world'

Respected Madam/ Sir,

This is the diary of Mr. J. Mathrubootham. Please publish in full detail. Don’t behave like TV news channel and only release cut piece. It is the story of the greatest irritation in the whole world.

10 a.m.: Mrs. M is switching on ironing box to put iron on one saree.

10.07 a.m.: Smoke is coming from ironing box like Prabhu Deva dancing in Mani Ratnam film.

10.08 a.m.: Mrs. M is continuing to use iron box because smoke and all nothing for Mrs. M who once drove car with puncture tyre for 7 km to see actor Madhavan film. Maybe Alaipayuthey.

10.11 a.m.: Iron box is catching fire.

10.13 a.m.: Mrs. M enters living room to say hello do something iron box is on fire. She said this with same emotion as if saying ‘Bread is finished’ or ‘TV remote is missing’.

10.14 a.m.: I am running to fuse board and switching off electricity. Then I sprinkle water on iron box. Fire is stopped. I put one vote of thanks to Guruvayoorappa.

10.20 a.m.: I am looking at e-commerce website for new iron box.

10.21 a.m.: Whether any purchase can happen without UN type discussion? Never. So Mrs. M is immediately asking where is tree. I said tree? What tree? Did you set tree also on fire? She said tree, the one with money growing. Why you are buying new iron? Let us do repair first.

10.22 a.m.: Let us buy new iron. No means no, Kamalam. I won’t negotiate.

10.23 a.m.: Ok fine let us repair iron.

10.25 a.m.: Electrician is too much busy but he said let us do WhatsApp video and I will see if repair can be done. He said please call at 11 a.m. sharp.

11.00 a.m.: We called electrician. Nothing.

11.05 a.m.: Again we called. Again nothing.

11.15 a.m.: Once more call. Once more nothing.

11.20 a.m.: Electrician is calling. I am taking bath. Unable to talk.

11.30 a.m.: I run out wearing only turkey towel. Finally he is picking up.

11.35 a.m.: For one hour what all gymnastics we did. I am holding iron like this, Mrs. M holding phone like that. Then I am holding iron like that, she is holding phone like this. Electrician is laughing like anything. Mrs. M is silent like anything.

11.47 a.m.: Electrician giving long list of spare parts. He said 100% repair is possible. Why to waste money. Mrs. M face as if she won Sikkim Lottery.

12.00 p.m.: Trying shop for parts. But brand long ago sold to European company. No parts possible.

12.06 p.m.: Voice telling service centre number.

12.18 p.m.: Calling service centre number and asking for iron box parts. Voice said, uncle, this is pizza centre, whether you want pizza or no. I said, ok and put one online order. Hungry like anything.

12.30 p.m.: Another one service centre. I am asking for spare parts again. Man on the phone is laughing like anything. Uncle, this iron is from 1980s. Nobody is making anymore.

12.45 p.m.: Pizza person called and said sorry sir, fire in hotel and all orders cancel. I said, oh my god, please give refund. He said sir, please call service centre for refund.

1.00 p.m.: No reply from pizza service centre. Another service centre man is saying iron parts available but minimum one month required. I said thank you, in one month I can go to Salem, buy steel, return and make iron box myself.

1.12 p.m.: Mrs. M asking where is pizza? I said fire in hotel. She said where is refund? I said service centre lines all busy. Let us order something else. She said, never. Until we get refund no more phone orders.

1.13 p.m.: Iron box gone. Pizza gone. Now one new thing is on fire. What is it? My stomach.

Yours in starvation,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Oct 31, 2020 4:49:59 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/iron-and-steeling-self/article32810588.ece

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