January
Rangoli sends legal notice to Forbes for ranking Kangana 70th on the Celebrity 100 List. Rajinikanth shoots for an episode of Man Vs Wild with Bear Grylls at Bandipur Tiger Reserve. Sonam Kapoor wears a sari tuxedo. The Gujarati edition of Sapiens is released.
February
Rakhi Sawant says she will go to China and kill coronavirus with medicine given to her by NASA. Rangoli says the similarities between Marlon Brando and Kangana give her goosebumps. Dharmendra launches a new restaurant called ‘He-Man’. Men and women who drink daily have increased chance of living to 90, says study. Harappans ate non-vegetarian food but museum takes them off the menu of Ancient Food Exhibition.
March
Dharmendra’s ‘He-Man’ restaurant is sealed for building law violations. In Noida, a man stops his BMW to urinate. Thieves flee with the car, ₹40 lakh loan pending. Priyanka Chopra co-writes a coronavirus song with Nick Jonas that you can sing while washing your hands.
April
Malaika Arora makes besan laddoo . Priyanka Chopra thanks the PM for acknowledging her donation. ‘We are strongest together,’ she says. Kerala becomes first state to open liquor stores during lockdown. Rangoli Chandel’s Twitter account is suspended. Arnab Goswami resigns from editors’ guild citing their lack of ethics.
May
Human urine could be used to make concrete on the moon in the future. My mother can pull off Meryl Streep’s role in The Devil Wears Prada, says Esha Deol. Kent apologizes for its ad of Kent Atta & Bread Maker. Baba Ramdev launches clinical trials for ‘Coronil’.
June
On World Environment Day, Salman Khan and Iulia Vantur sweep their Panvel farmhouse. As #BoycottChina trends on Twitter, One Plus 8 Pro sells out in minutes. ‘I feel jealous of Pakistanis and Filipinos who went home for free,’ says NRI on social media, after paying a high price for Vande Bharat flight.
July
Wedding called off in TN after bride and groom fight over PM. India orders 5.5 lakh biryanis and 129K lava cakes during lockdown. Sale of sex toys goes up by 65% during lockdown. Twinkle Khanna spots snake, rat and butterflies in her house. ‘Is there any hope?’ Kangana asks PM as she shares Resul Pookutty’s bullying story.
August
‘I have more Indians than she has,’ says President Trump about Kamala Harris. ‘Act of God’ situation may result in economic contraction, says FM. Philippine government official gets caught having sex with secretary during Zoom meeting.
September
PM Modi hails Indian media. Kangana Ranaut’s father compares her to Lord Krishna. Akshay Kumar says he drinks cow urine.
October
Madurai smugglers caught hiding gold worth ₹52 lakh in their rectums. Taimur Ali Khan learns Spanish to beat lockdown blues. Sadhguru rides across America on a BMW 1600 GT. The air in India is filthy, says Trump. Biden scolds Trump. A man sells his car and steals it later using duplicate keys.
November
Women in TN perform pooja for Kamala Harris. Spent my childhood listening to Ramayana and Mahabharata , says Barack Obama. Karachi will be part of India one day, says Devendra Fadnavis. Covid may have originated in India, say Chinese scientists.
December
Kangana Ranaut expresses desire to build temple, says Maa Durga chose her. Akshay Kumar earns ₹365 crore. Kangana’s sister-in-law makes makki ki roti. Nirav’s bother Nehal Modi is charged with committing fraud of $2.6 mil in NY. Sports Ministry formally recognises yogasana as sport. Seaplane in Gujarat refuses to take off. Akshay Kumar shares pic of a frog.
Krishna Shastri Devulapalli is a satirist. He has written four books and edited an anthology.
