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Who said youth is best, asks Mr. Mathrubootham

Respected Sir/ Madam,

Hey dude radical dude whatsup dude insta bro dude cappuccino machaan semma mokka mokkaccino semmaccino babe dude aaluma doluma.

Congratulations to all Indians. This is the future of our country. I hope you are happy. Enjoy it.

What nonsense am I vomiting on your page first thing in the morning?

Sir/ Madam, two days back I went to barber shop for monthly visit. Unfortunately, there were two or three people in queue. So I decided to sit down on the bench and read some magazines and newspapers. Hair is only going. Brain is not going.

Then, in two different magazines, I read same article: youth are the future of India. Youth will make India the global superpower in the next 20 years. Or some nonsense like that. In magazine and all, everything is 20 or 30 years in the future. What will happen next week? That none of these fellows will tell. Instead they will say some nonsense about 2040 or 2050, ask some question like will solar energy become the virtual reality of the genetic engineering of the cashless society, and then in the end they will put most irritating sentence since the invention of printing press: ‘Only time will tell.’

Sir/ Madam, I have two very important questions about youth and future of India and all. First of all, what you mean by youth? There are so many different types of youth in our country.

Youth Festival youth means 16 to 21 years old.

Youth Hostel youth means 25 to 40 years old.

Youth Congress youth means 40 to 50 years old.

Which youth they are talking?

My second question is, hello, whether you have actually spoken to any youth in this country before appointing them as future? Yes or no? Tell the truth.

Sir/ Madam, I am sure there are many youthful people in your esteemed newspaper. Please you look at them and tell me what you think about the future of India? I will tell you. Future of India is spelling mistake and jeans pant with big holes.

After barber shop, I went back home and shared my thoughts with Mrs. Mathrubootham. As soon as I entered the house, she asked, “Did you go to the barber shop, old man?”

I said, “Yes, what do you think?”

She said, “Well, next time get a haircut and then ask me.”

Ha ha ha. Stupid woman has been making the same joke since 1978. I said, “Kamalam, what do you think about our youth?”

She said, “Old man, either you make mor kuzhambu and I will find some youth, or you go to Cafe Coffee Day on 15th Main Road, it is always full of youths.” After bath, I went to the coffee shop.

Sir/ Madam, for 20 minutes I secretly observed interactions between five or six youths. Dude insta dude bro semma mokka dude. And then I came back home when brain started bleeding.

One 100% future of India is as follows: In 2040 everyone in India is sitting and looking at phone, meanwhile China has taken over every inch of India except Bengaluru due to traffic congestion.

Sir/ Madam, why we keep on talking about youth? Why not talk about retired bank employees? We worked hard, got salary, gave loans, when we got transferred we went quietly, when we got transferred again we went quietly again, we sent our children to school, and did we waste time on computer? In fact, we went on strike against computer.

And the best thing, when retirement came we retired. Anybody in this country retires decently anymore? Anybody? Not one person. Cricketer will not retire minimum till son has become selector. Politician is lying down in ICU and doing bank transfer during seventh bypass surgery.

But no. Youth is the most important it seems. What will happen to India? Only time will tell.

Yours in tremendous suspicion,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Jan 27, 2022 1:48:04 PM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/who-said-youth-is-best-asks-mr-mathrubootham/article22478996.ece

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