Sir/Madam, whether you did any romantic things or no?

‘Do you know what happened in February 1993?’

Updated - February 17, 2019 10:27 am IST

Published - February 16, 2019 04:30 pm IST

Respected Madam/Sir,

Valentine’s Day is come and gone. Whether you did any romantic things or no? What is your age? Maybe youths in your esteemed office did some celebrations? No details please.

Madam/ sir, what and all you have to do for romance these days. Whether people like me can do? Never. Yesterday, I was thinking, suppose some IIT-Madras fellow tomorrow is inventing computerised machine for travelling up and down in history. And he makes announcement, anyone can use machine, welcome, welcome.

What will Mr. Mathrubootham do?

First of all, I will go to month of February in year of 1993. Then once again, I will go on family trip to Kodaikanal with Mrs. Mathrubootham’s family. No change from last time. We will take train to Kodai road. Then take bus to Vathalakundu. And from there we will get Matador or Tempo Traveller or something and take the family to Kodaikanal. Happily, we will go to Kodaikanal listening to music and eating Fryums. In between, we will stop at Silver Cascade and take photos. Hotel is near Coker’s Walk.

Time travel please

First night, we will just relax and have dinner. Next morning, we will go to see all the tourist places. In between we will go to Suicide Point. There I will do one small change compared to last time. When nobody is looking, I will push Mrs. Mathrubootham’s father.

You are thinking, oh my god Mr. Mathrubootham, science and technology is creating wonderful machine and you are using it for murder?!!

Once again, madam/ sir, you are not showing any patience, please calm down.

Do you know what happened in February 1993? If you hear then you will say, please I am also coming to Kodaikanal, we will push him together. Carefully aim for pointy rocks and stones for maximum injury.

After coming back from Kodaikanal trip, I told father-in-law, hello appa, I am thinking of investing some money in stock exchange. One new computer company is there. Everyone is saying if you put money now means in the future profit-o-profit.

Eating biscuit

He said what nonsense Mathrubootham, computer company and all has zero future. This is all just latest fashion. If you have money, close your eyes and put it in Unit Trust of India, it is the most best investment in the whole world. I asked Kamalam, my dear, what do you think we should do? She said, you quietly listen to my father, okay, he is stock market expert.

So, madam/ sir, instead of putting money in Infosys share, I put it in some muttaal Unit Trust of India nonsense. Instead of living like Mukesh Ambani in luxury lifestyle today, I am sitting at home and eating glucose biscuit. So first thing you will do is throw that fellow from mountain, no?

Then maybe we can use the machine to send Mr. and Mrs. Mathrubootham from our youth days to 2019. And do modern romance.

But madam/ sir, so much complication to do romance these days. Olden days restaurant means what choice is there? Roadside, normal, or five-star. If romance means you go to local normal restaurant. If money means five-star. Today? One thousand hotels are there, too much demand. No booking means they will look at you like some barbarian. Then you have to buy gift. Then you have to find nice romantic type shirt and pant.

Madam/ sir, too much trouble to do romance these days. How these young people are managing?

I prefer olden days romance. Go for one matinee. Then maybe go to Dasaprakash. Then come back home. Take tea. Relax. And then look at Infosys share price in the newspaper.

That is the lifestyle.

Yours in full satisfaction,

J. Mathrubootham

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