Letter From A Concerned Reader: Not one fellow has any new ideas, laments Mr. Mathrubootham

What’s next? Bullock cart by Toyota? Hand-pump for water by Voltas? Dosa kal by Apple?

Updated - November 18, 2018 10:17 am IST

Published - November 17, 2018 04:05 pm IST

Respected Madam/Sir,

Are there any new ideas left in this country or old ideas again and again without any shame?

One billion people are there in this country. But not one fellow has any new ideas. Same old song with new dance. Same old film with new hero.

It is like going to doctor.

You go say hello doctor I have stomach ache, he will say take two X-ray morning and evening after food and then come back next week. You go to same doctor and say, doctor blood is there in urine he will say please take two X-ray morning and evening after food and come back in one week.

Then you will go to doctor and say hello, bloody fool Mir Jaffar of MBBS, now stomach is aching and blood is coming and blind in both eyes and one kidney is also gone, and just now one leg has fallen off in autorickshaw, what nonsense you are doing? But receptionist will say sorry, doctor has gone to the U.S. for son’s admission, but why don’t you take two-three X-ray, we can give discount, it is our sister company.

Madam/ Sir, let me tell one more story. In 1988, when I was working in Bank of India, one regional manager type fellow came to do study tour and give motivational speech to all employees. Morning itself, we all assembled in the office. He stood up and said: “Good morning colleagues, first of all I want to say it is my pleasure to be here in Ongole branch, Ongole is my favourite branch, our customers in Ongole are non-stop saying every branch should be like Ongole branch, Ongole is the best branch. I give my hearty regards to all of you here in Ongole.”

Then after five more minutes of speech, branch manager got up and said, “Regional manager sir, this is the best speech we have ever heard in this office. Sir, how you speak like this? Since birth or some special training? If only you make me assistant regional manager, I could listen to you speak like this nonstop every day. However, one small problem sir, this is Warangal branch.”

Madam/ sir, this fellow had by-hearted one speech and was going around Andhra Pradesh giving same speech in every branch. Buffoon.

Whole country is like this. No originality. Film is remake of English film. Song is duplicate of Korean song. Even poster is duplicate. Speech is photocopy of speech.

And then this morning what did I see in your esteemed newspaper?

New Jawa motorcycle is coming. Is this needed, madam/ sir?

Other countries are zooming into the future. Courier is coming on drone. Car is running on battery. Robot is cooking in hotel.

What is happening in India? Motorcycle with sound like diesel generator and face-cut of water buffalo is selling for lakhs.

Tomorrow what and all I will read in your paper? Bullock cart by Toyota? Hand-pump for water by Voltas? Dosa kal by Apple? Nawab of Arcot is coming back?

Anybody in whole country with any new idea?

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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