LETTER FROM A CONCERNED READER | Columns

Right and bright idea

Respected Madam/Sir,

How are you? Full election mood in the newspaper office? Or some relaxation also is there?

What did I do three-four days ago? It is an Alistair MacLean saga of daring adventure and cunning plan and suspense thrills.

First, I went to neighbour Dr. Shankaramenon’s flat. I pressed doorbell one time. Two time. Few more times. Bloody fool, I can hear TV sound from outside, what nonsense. Suddenly my mobile phone started ringing. Hello, I said.

Hello, this is Dr. Shankaramenon. My god, Mathrubootham, I am in the toilet, whether you will stop ringing bell or I should call police.

I said Shankaramenon, first of all I don’t talk to people when they are in the toilet. Second of all, how did you know it is myself outside? He said bloody fool, whether anybody else in this housing complex will press calling bell 15,000 times? Children all over Madras are going home because they are thinking school is over. Wait 2 minutes, I am coming.

After 2 minutes, he opened door. I said Dr. Shankaramenon, I want you to organise tea party in your house tomorrow. He said what nonsense, who are you, Queen Elizabeth?

A mutual friend

I said I will finance tea party, you just have to provide premises. He said fine. Then I told him 100% you should invite mutual friend Mr. Balaraman. He said ok.

Then I went to Balaraman’s house. Before I pressed calling bell itself, Balaraman opened the door. I said what a miracle, how did you know I am coming? He said miracle mannangkatti. Just now Dr. Shankaramenon called and said Mathrubootham is coming, if you don’t open door he will press bell till blood is coming from your ears and from inside the calling bell.

I said Balaraman tomorrow tea party is there in Shankaramenon’s house. Attendance is compulsory. Please bring Mrs. Balaraman also. He said why not, I am always ready for tea party. Balaraman, you are one of the few decent people in this country, I said. So many people, if children are going abroad and they are getting lavish money means personality will change. But your personality is same to same since decades. Free food means Balaraman is first in line. So much laughter was there at this joke but mostly by myself.

Before leaving, I said please ask Mrs. Balaraman to invite Mrs. F.S. D’Costa for sure. It is very important. He said ok ok no problem. See you tomorrow.

Then I went home and told Mrs. M about tea party.

Next day evening, we went to Dr. Shankaramenon’s house. So many food items were there. In between chilli cheese toast and gulab jamun, I asked Mrs. F.S. D’Costa, hello Mrs. D’Costa, I recently heard news that you have purchased new DVD player or TV or something? Is it true?

She said what all rumours you are hearing Mr. Mathrubootham? Housing complex is having more spies than ISI of Pakistan. No TV-DVD and all. Just we have purchased one small item from Amazon. You plug it into TV and put Internet and full enjoyment. Non-stop film and TV serial entertainments. From one corner of right eye I looked at Mrs. M. She was hearing with full attention.

I said, it sounds very expensive, must be imported from Japan or Singapore? She said, Mathrubootham, what nonsense. My son ordered it online from India only. You also buy no? Cheap only.

After tea party, when we are coming home, Mrs. M said, shall we also purchase Amazon video item? We can also have non-stop entertainment. I said fine, let me do some research.

Madam/ sir, this is the genius of Mr. J. Mathrubootham. For two weeks, I have been planning this idea. What will happen if I myself told Kamalam about Amazon stick? She will say useless expense. But if someone else is giving same idea? Aha oho only.

This is the secret of successful married life. Right ideas should come from right people.

Yours in nefarious conspiracy,

J. Mathrubootham


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Printable version | Sep 25, 2021 3:42:50 AM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/right-and-bright-idea/article27022816.ece

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