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Letter from a concerned reader: One plain dosa please

Respected Madam/Sir,

Hello from the great city of Tiruchirapalli. After decades and decades I am coming here. Why? Just some enjoyments.

Two three days back Mrs. Mathrubootham came and said, “Old man, shall we go somewhere for trip?” I looked at her quietly for two-three minutes. You are thinking, why are you looking at her like she is she some work of art like actress Gautami?

Hello excuse me. Little bit and all art is there. Have you seen our wedding photo? After all these years people are still asking me: “Why did she marry you? Did you kidnap? Did she have conjunctivitis during wedding period? How, Mathrubootham, how you managed?”

Madam/Sir, it is called personality.

I looked at her carefully because sometimes she will say things like, “Do you want to go on trip,” and all, and then suddenly attack without warning. Like, she will say, “Do you want to go on trip?” I will say, “Yes of course, I very much enjoy tourism.” Then she will say, “Very good, take this plastic bag and go on trip to supermarket and bring seppankizhangu?”

Or she will come innocently with face like Pakistani girl Malala and say, “Old man, do you want to read one new book?” I will say, “Oh my god, reading is my favourite.” And then she will give account book and say, “Please do all the accounting for this month, 70 rupees is not matching.”

So I looked at her carefully, waiting for the attack. No attack. She said, “Old man, please be serious, shall we go somewhere nearby only? Just 3–4 days. And then come back.” I said, “Why not, shall we do one Trichy and Thanjavur trip? We can see Malarkovil and Periyakovil after decades and decades, and eat Ashoka Halwa and all?”

Madam/Sir, immediately we booked one hotel room near Trichy Central bus stand, and took train ticket. Just this morning only we arrived. Too much development in Trichy these days. I could not recognise itself. As soon as we put bag in hotel room Mrs. Mathrubootham said, “Shall we do lunch?” I said, “OK, this area of Trichy is full hotel-o-hotel.”

We went to one very grand hotel near bus stand. I called waiter and said, “Can I have dosa?” He said, “What dosa you want?” I said, “What dosa is there?”

Madam/Sir, it was greatest mistake of my life. This boy opened his mouth and then one bullet train came out: Set Dosa Mysore Masala Paneer Butter Masala Paneer Kheema Gobi Masala Mushroom Masala Cheese Dosa Soya Sukka Gaja Buja Maja Maja Kasa Musa.

I said, “Thambi, normal dosa not there in Trichy? So much developmento?”

He said, “Saar, of course, we have Sada Dosa Onion Sada Masala Ghee Roast Podi Butter Podi Butter Masala Rava Special Rava Butter Rava Special Butter Rava Cashew Nut Rava Butter Masala Soda Podi Cashew Nut…”

I said, “Thambi, please stop, otherwise you will get bronchitis. Please bring one sada.” Then he looked at Mrs. Mathrubootham. And she said, “Do you have any uthappam items?” After 45 minutes of his voice, she ordered one uthappam.

Madam/Sir, what is need for all these complications you please explain? For hundreds and thousands of years people ate two or three dosa varieties happily no? Then? Development means no self-control?

I became in very bad mood. But when I returned to hotel everything changed. Hotel TV was showing one English film called John Wick.

Ayyo, film means like this. Non-stop action. Beginning to end shoot shoot shoot shoot. Whether any songs? No. Any romance? No. Any sentiments? Never. Unnecessary hero dialogues? Never never. Then? Action action action action.

After everybody died in the film, I was able to get into good mood and go to Malar Kovil happily.

Madam/Sir, simplicity should be there in all things. Action means action. Romance means romance. Dosa means dosa.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Dec 4, 2021 3:14:37 PM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/one-plain-dosa-please/article26674233.ece

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