NRIs will complain complain complain, says Mr. Mathrubootham

‘In Dubai during lunch break if you go and stand outside for 10 minutes you will turn into Gobi 65’

Published - December 07, 2019 04:03 pm IST

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Respected Madam/Sir,

Indians means everyone will complain. Indians will complain. Foreigners will complain. And in-between fellows like NRIs will also complain. Complain complain complain. Non-stop.

Have you been to international aerodrome when flight is arriving from U.S. or U.K. and all? Abroad fellows will come out of airport and say hello to family, and then before suitcase is even fully in dickie they will start. “Oho, it is too hot. Too much pollution is there in the air. Too much garbage in the river. People are driving without lane discipline.”

Complaint complaint complaint. Non-stop. Last week, one relative of Dr. Shankaramenon came from overseas. Doctor said, “Mathrubootham you also come for tea party no? It will be good timepass.” I said, “Why not, retirement is for having free tea party only.”

So this NRI fellow is coming and Dr. Shankaramenon said, “Welcome, welcome this is my house.”

Madam/sir, now what normal people will say in such circumstances? They will say, “Oh, what a magnificent house, it is the greatest house I have ever seen, for two minutes I thought, ‘did I put Buckingham Palace in the Uber application’, etc. etc.” This is called decency and civilisation. What this abroad fellow said you know? He said, “Oh this is the problem with India, houses are so small and people have to struggle like anything.”

I thought, ‘Oh my god 100% doctor is going to put some laxative type item in their tea or coffee.’ One cupboard in Dr. Shankaramenon’s bedroom is full of laxative only. Somebody told me; I have never ever used or even asked Shankaramenon for any free sample. What is the need? I am fine.

Then during tea and coffee party NRI fellow is saying, “Oh my god it is so hot in this country in December also, this is why I think I will stay abroad only. Weather and all is too much tension in India.” Madam/sir what nonsense this buffoon is talking. Do you know which country he is living in? Dubai. In Dubai during lunch break if you go and stand outside for 10 minutes you will turn into Gobi 65. And he is saying that luxury A.C. flat in Madras is too much heat.

Complain complain. Everybody complains from morning to evening.

But you tell me one thing madam/sir, in which other country government will say no need to wear helmet when you are riding motorcycle, please enjoy. Any other country will say? Only India. Whether you have seen latest news from Gujarat? They are saying if you are driving in city, why unnecessary putting helmet and all. Just you enjoy the fresh air.

People will say, “What nonsense is this Mathrubootham, you are making fun of safety issues?” Shut up, stupid people. What is government saying? Government is saying, too many idiots in this country, unbearable headache. How to get rid of them. Superb idea, let them get put self goal. If you are buffoon and want to ride motorcycle without helmet, then please feel free. Slowly, in two–three years many buffoons will automatically reduce in the country. Maybe government can give free motorcycle also.

Madam/sir within two weeks you will see news item: two motorcycle idiots without helmet have crashed into each other. Any other country will create this opportunity? Never.

Any need to complain? Zero.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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