Letter from a Concerned Reader | Columns

Mr. Mathrubootham goes for a massage

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Image: Getty Images/ iStock  

‘Book is flying one direction, foot in other direction, Mathrubootham is crashing to the floor like Skylab crashing in Australia in 1979. Whether you are remembering Skylab?’

Respected Madam/Sir,

Tragedy is always starting with comedy. This is the life. This is line they should put under four lions of Ashoka. Satyameva jayate and all nobody cares these days.

If you tell some youths, “Hello youths, please come here listen to me, truth alone is leading to success.” They will say, “Uncle please sit down. This is not jambuvan period. Nowadays morning to evening nonstop telling lies means some cash will come.”

Three days back I woke up in the morning. I said two-three prayers and stepped out of bed and where I am putting the foot? Directly on cover of superhit novel The Night of Wenceslas by Lionel Davidson. Then what happened? Book is flying one direction, foot in other direction, Mathrubootham is crashing to the floor like Skylab crashing in Australia in 1979. Whether you are remembering Skylab?

Immediately Kamalam came running: “Oh my god what happened? Can you hear? Can you talk? Can you see? Say something!” I said, “Kamalam, whole body is paining like anything but I can still talk. Please call Dr. Shankaramenon.”

Doctor came and said, “Mathrubootham, you are lucky. After retirement age falling like this means time to go only,” and he pointed at ceiling fan. I asked what is connection between myself falling and Khaitan fan? He said, “No, no, not fan.” And kept pointing up. I said, “What nonsense, whether Mrs. Nalini from upstairs is making me fall?” He said, “No, no! Up! Up!”

Madam/sir I knew very well what he is saying. But when you are doctor means some self-respect should be there? If everytime there is problem you are saying oho time to go to paralokam means why you got MBBS degree? Get nonsense degree like Botany no?

So I said, “Doctor ,shut up and do some doctor work.” He checked whole body and said, “Mathrubootham, no serious issues are there. All items working properly. But too much stiffness is there. Whether you are doing any gym or exercise or joggings?” I said, “Dr. Shankaramenon, for last 30 years you are living in next flat. What nonsense questions you are asking.” He said, “Mathrubootham please go for one massage treatment. I know one clinic in Anna Nagar West near Mainland China hotel.” Kamalam said, “I am booking appointment immediately, you keep quiet.”

Next day I went to massage establishment. Receptionist asked some questions, then I said about falling in bedroom. She closed her eyes and said, “Ayappa, time to take him up.” I said, “Excuse me madam what nonsense, this is customer service or customer insult?” That moment one massage fellow with name badge Ayappan came and took me to upstairs treatment room.

Madam/sir once during college days I had one accident. I am going to college on cycle. Going-going just like that. Suddenly one man on scooter came and put loud horn. I fully lost balance and fell into one ditch full of small stones. Motorcycle man is coming running to help but he is slipping and falling on top of me. How many stitches total? Seven stitches from stones and two from motorcycle man helmet.

But that pain and all nothing compared to pain that Ayappan is doing during massage. After long time, he said sir is it paining too much? I said Ayappa for 20 minutes I am crying and crying. You are asking now? I reached home tottering. Mrs. Mathrubootham asked old man, how you are feeling?

I said Kamalam absolutely no feelings anywhere. She said very good, I have booked weekly appointment for next two months. It is surprise gift.

Yours in extreme persecution,

J. Mathrubootham

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Printable version | Apr 1, 2020 2:21:39 PM | https://www.thehindu.com/opinion/columns/mr-mathrubootham-goes-for-a-massage/article30879343.ece

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