Mr. Mathrubootham enjoys non-stop thrills

‘Madam/Sir, secret of happy marriage is very fast movement in reverse gear’

September 28, 2019 04:05 pm | Updated September 29, 2019 01:16 pm IST

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Respected Madam/Sir,

Yesterday I was sitting at home and reading Vixen 03 superhit thriller novel by Clive Cussler. Whether you have heard of Clive Cussler? He is writing so many novels maybe weekly basis. Action means non-stop action. Thrills means non-stop thrills. Masala means more masala than factory of Shakti Masala company in Mamarathupalayam. It is near Erode. Have you been? I have been.

Maybe 15-20 years ago I was working in Gobichettipalayam branch. And Mrs. M’s some relatives came for visiting. They said Mr. Mathrubootham please let us do some sightseeing activities in nearby areas. Please show all the highlights of Gobichettipalayam. Aama, as if I am working in Bank of India branch in Constantinople. How can everyone in Mrs. Mathrubootham’s family except Mrs. Mathrubootham be so irritating. Maybe some issues in DNA.

So after seeing two-three things in Gobichettipalayam and then going to Pariyur Kondathu Kaliamman Temple I thought ok now what to do. At that moment Tempo Traveller driver said, “Sir, one masala factory is there shall we go?” Like that only I saw Sakthi Masala factory. Very grand. Today is international company with Jyothika posing in photos.

Madam/Sir, one minute. Why I am writing about masala company? Retirement age means brain turn into muttakos .

What I was saying? Ah yes. Novel. Suddenly during reading of novel one thought came to me. Whether old video cassette of Raise the Titanic! is still there in house. It is based on another superhit Clive Cussler novel. But where is the cassette? I thought maybe I can give it to nearby photo studio. They are transforming video tape into DVD within 24 to 48 hours.

I looked inside almari . Nothing. I looked inside storeroom. Nothing. I looked inside bookshelf. Nothing. I looked under bed. Nothing.

So I went to Mrs. M and said excuse me do you know where is my video cassette of superhit film from 1980s Raise the Titanic! ? She said, “You first answer this question. If in one house one man and woman is there and man is spending all day doing useless timepass, and woman is trying to make lunch and man is coming and asking stupid questions, and then woman is deciding nonsense I will go with friends to hotel for ladies lunch, then what will old man have for lunch? Bread and jam. Banana. Tumbler of cold water. Which is the right answer?”

I said, “Thank you, Kamalam for valuable inputs, please continue.” Madam/Sir, secret of happy marriage is very fast movement in reverse gear.

Madam/Sir, then I thought I will look in balcony. Some boxes are there. Video cassette and all gone forever. But I found one exciting item. Badminton rackets and some balls. I ran to kitchen and said, “Kamalam, after lunch shall we go and play ball badminton for few minutes? It has been many decades.”

She said, “Old man finally you are asking me to do some youthful activities; 4 o’clock we will play. You please wear yoga dress, I will wear sports saree.”

Madam/Sir, we had two rackets and three balls. We went to badminton court in housing complex common area. We did warm-up and all. Then my first serve went into main road. Mrs. M tried serve after that and ball went into the sky, no other information we have got from that ball. Last ball I served very slowly, then she returned, then I returned, then she tried one smash and it went inside Dr. Shankaramenon’s balcony. He has gone to Bombay for two weeks.

Then we went back home for tiffin. In total we played ball badminton for seven minutes.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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