June was adopted as Pride month (I don’t know when, I do know why, but so does Google so, let’s not waste my time) and suddenly the world sat up, took notice and decided to rain on their parade. Which is ironic because normally that would have led to the most awesome rainbows in the sky, which would have only made the day more symbolic, but it didn’t. Instead, it is almost as if the hetero-tards decided to sabotage the celebrations by taking over the month with a gazillion other ‘Days’ to be commemorated. The result is a hodgepodge that runs all through the month, thereby rendering its special factor to an almost zero. Nothing makes a rainbow feel more weighed down than being clouded over.
Father’s Day, World Music Day, Yoga Day, Milk Day, Environment Day... I can go on. There’s even Elderly Abuse Awareness Day (or, better put, Awareness to Stop Elderly Abuse Day, before you get any ideas, or a stick). There is Refugee Day on the 20th which comes a day after Sauntering Day, and I can’t help but chuckle silently about the dark joke embedded there. Music and Yoga share a day, but it’s also the longest day so there’s enough to pass around, I guess. The end of the month is Asteroid Day, which means our LGBTQI+ friends can’t have a stellar exit celebration to themselves. Instead, they are forced to share it paying respect to a gazillion other heavenly bodies that nobody save for the nerds in white lab coats care about.
I think this Day thing is getting way out of hand. Well, I thought the matter was out of hand since my fourth birthday because no other day really mattered to me after that. Maybe a mid-week national holiday that meant getting to sleep in a bit, sans school. But if this keeps up, very soon we shall all know June as the month with no dates, just names for every day, multiple names in fact, or maybe AM- and PM-specific names. And depending on the time zone, you will have to refer to it appropriately. Business conversations will go, “Let’s meet for lunch on International Olympic Day” and someone will reply, “Oh, but it’s Widows Day where I am so I have to attend a service. How about we pencil in Autistic Pride Day for a quick coffee?” Leaves will be sanctioned based on who observes what with how much reverence. If you take International Picnic Day off then you will need to work on Olympic Day to compensate.
And that’s not just June. I am merely citing June because not a day this month past did my morning alarm simply chime and say “Welcome to Tuesday”. Instead, it was a cafe-style menu of the ‘Days of the day’ that seemed to make each entity even more insignificant. A friend remembered to wish his father on Father’s Day, but forgot that it was also his old man’s birthday! Now that’s one way to reduce your inheritance. This day overload has to stop.
Everyone and everything is unique and special to someone. But it shouldn’t mean we impose it across realms. World Bicycle Day and World Oceans Day mean a lot more to me than, say, Wind Day because I haven’t indulged in activities involving the latter half as much.
While I am all for reducing this forced Happy Quotient, Hallmark will definitely disagree for this is the one month that they wish was lived 12 times a year. It gives them a raison d’être but more importantly, a chunk of their profits for the coming year. I wonder if they celebrate “Fooled the Public Yet Again” day at their offices? Hopefully, it’s not in June.
This column is for anyone who gives an existential toss.
