Enjoy within limits, says Mr. Mathrubootham

‘Parthipan broke all Anna Nagar record for failing in maximum subjects, decided to become guitarist in one band, then after people said please stop assassination of music he got job in Dubai. I think smuggling

October 12, 2019 04:07 pm | Updated October 13, 2019 01:24 am IST

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Image: Getty Images/ iStock

Respected Madam/Sir,

Sometimes in life we are desperately wanting one thing. And we are waiting and waiting. Then suddenly that thing is coming and we are feeling ayyo I unnecessarily wanted, maybe other thing is better, or nothing is best.

Whether you are aware of one Mr. Prathapan, my nearby neighbourhood friend? 20–30 years back he used to say, “Please please Tirupathi, Balaji, Baby Jesus, Gautama Buddha, Guru Nanak, Thousand Lights Mosque, whichever fellow in Lotus Temple in Delhi, please please give me one son.”

I told him ten thousand times, “Prathapan, you have two wonderful daughters, what nonsense you are asking for boy boy like idiot. Look at me. God gave two boys and I said, ‘fine ok I will manage’.”

Madam/ Sir, then what happened? Prathapan got boy. First of all boy was some 15 kg during delivery. Prathapan’s wife even now when looking at family album tears are falling down her face like Jog Falls. “What happened,” I asked, “you are having happy memories?”

She said, “Shut up, Mr. Mathrubootham, mannangkatti happy memories. Giving birth to Parthipan was like giving birth to cement sack.”

Then Parthipan grew up and became computer science engineer and went to U.S. and today he is right-hand man of Microsoft CEO ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just some comedy. Parthipan broke all Anna Nagar record for failing in maximum subjects, decided to become guitarist in one band, then after people said please stop assassination of music he got job in Dubai. I think smuggling.

So better to be happy in life with what you have. But yesterday what happened. Mrs. M came at 6 p.m. and said, “Wake up old man, sleeping like water buffalo.” I said, umbbbbaaaaaaaaoooooo. She said, “So funny, I will put Baygon in your tea, mind it. One friend from college days has come, I am leaving to spend whole day with friends group. You please manage food by yourself. If you want, eat in hotel also. Enjoy.”

I thought, Eureka what a happy day, what a celebration day. I can eat anything. For breakfast I took some coffee and biscuits. Then after reading classic novel Funeral in Berlin by Len Deighton I said ok, time to enjoy restaurant lunch after many decades.

I went to Hot Chips nearby Tirumangalam metro station. Just as I was about to enter I thought, what nonsense, today is celebration day. Why not try some new items. So I went to nearby one other restaurant that is providing Rajasthani Thali type items. I stood outside and looked through the window. Oho. Food is looking very nice. But then I saw waiter carrying plate. Madam/ Sir, one Mount Everest of food. Ghee, oil, potato.

I thought too much heavy food. Enjoyment is there but there should be limits. I kept walking and saw one Pizza Hut. Superb! Long time since I had pizza. I was looking at menu when suddenly face of Mrs. M appeared in my mind. Oho. Last two-three weeks she is saying we should eat pizza and some or the other reason I am giving. Now if I eat alone it will not be good.

What to say. Like that like that I spent two hours going from hotel to hotel. Some problem is coming in my mind. Too boring. Too heavy. Too sweet. Too expensive. Too much calories. Finally stomach is singing like Balamuralikrishna so I came back to Hot Chips. Waiter said, “Uncle, same pav bhaji?” I said, “Ok.”

Around 10 p.m. Mrs. M came back. She said, “I had Gujarati thali for lunch and pizza for dinner. What did you have?”

I quietly went to sleep.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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