Are you playing games with Mr. Mathrubootham?

‘Hardworking youth is sitting and putting bio data on matrimonials website during working hours’

Published - April 21, 2018 04:22 pm IST

Respected Sir/Madam,

Many years ago when I was working in Shillong branch, I think it was near Police Bazaar, there was one Gujarati accountant man. He used to sit between my seat and cash counter, whole day quietly working. Whatever happened, he used to quietly do his work.

India - Pakistan cricket match? No emotion. Election result? No emotion. Assassination of prime minister? No emotion. Total confusion in head office and they have sent 100 boxes of complimentary Bank of India dining set to Shillong office and now plate-saucer jallikattu in the office? Zero emotion.

Whole world is going mad but this fellow will just work and work and work.

Some people used to say, “Definitely something suspicious about Mr. Shah. We are here for the service of the public mannangkatti, all ok, but there should be some control no?” Sir/ Madam, don’t forget this and all happening before computerisation. Today you go to bank branch you will see one executive sitting and typing like anything on the computer. And you will think, “Oho future of country is brighter than 200 watt bulb, look at the hardworking youths!” Ha ha ha. Lies and chicanery. Hardworking youth is sitting and putting bio data on matrimonials website during working hours.

Hello, excuse me, when you will issue new ATM card, you will ask.

One second, I am uploading photo into the system, he will say.

Rascal, you are uploading your own photo I can see clearly, you are playing games with Mr. Mathrubootham???

Sir, what nonsense you are talking, whether you are aware of new RBI regulation whereby customer and bank employee both have to upload photo in order to prevent fraudulent account that can lead to black money going directly to terrorist organisations that will destroy our country? Sir, think about it, you want to destroy our country?

Ok, fine, if it is new RBI regulation then ok, please just do it quickly.

I am working full speed, uncle, what to do, it is for the betterment of India, one final question for your application, what do you think about my skin colour, is it fair or wheatish?

But back in those Shillong days no such option. Work means sit down and work. And during lunch break when rest of us are relaxing or chatting, Mr. Shah will sit and read books or magazines. Once in a while he will give me one Reader’s Digest or Sputnik magazine and he will say, ‘Mr. Mathrubootham future of mankind is amazing.’

Oh is it? Yes, 100%, he will say. Cars will fly, buildings will float, and everything will happen on computers. Look, there is one article here about satellite TV for teaching children at home itself so that they don’t have to go to school. Mathrubootham, it is sad we are already so old, Mr. Shah used to say, but our children will live like king and queen.

And then exactly at 2 p.m., he will put all magazine and books inside his bag and go back to work. After some years Mr. Shah got transferred to Connaught Place branch in Delhi and then I don’t know what happened.

But today, I want to get his address and go to his house and give one Sputnik across his face. Future will be great it seems. This morning Mrs. Mathrubootham said, “Emergency, Mr. Mathrubootham, gas cylinder is finished please order urgently.”

I said, “What urgent we can have bread toast for lunch.”

She said, “Old man I have made half sambar, 30% beans poriyal and 40% pulisaadam, it will all go waste.”

I said, “Ok, Kamalam, this is head not vengaaya bajji, stop eating it,” and called cylinder agency.

They said, “Sorry, problem with computer, home delivery is not working but if you come with consumer number you can take cylinder.” Ok, but how to go now? My son had taken the car. After 20 minutes looking for auto I decided I will book one taxi using phone app. Why not use latest technology?

Ha ha ha ha. Sir/ Madam, seven taxi fellows cancelled one after the other like Vayudoot flight. I went back home, but Mrs. Mathrubootham said calm down I have already ordered pizza through app. It will come in just 40 minutes.

It has been four days. According to app, pizza will come in another 20 minutes.

Yours in exasperation,

J. Mathrubootham

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