If you’re reading this, it means you survived 2020 — so please accept my heartiest congratulations. I don’t know you but something tells me you’re keen to survive 2021 as well. But 2021 could be even tougher than 2020. According to a forecast by the India Meteorideological Department, thanks to a robust El Namo — a global phenomenon marked by evaporation of common sense and a collective melting away of brain cells responsible for empathy — the next 365 days could be 10 times more polarised, and polarising, than the past 1,195 days. Surviving them calls for strong resolve, which calls for strategically smart New Year’s resolutions.
A strategically smart New Year’s resolution is one that is both ambitious and easy to abide by. Its most critical quality is that it creates an anti-polarising atmosphere. How? By avoiding the two ends of the Indian Ocean dipolar disorder and staying centrist.
Some people scoff at centrism. I want to tell these arrogant know-it-alls that historically the only non-fascists who prospered under fascism were centrists. If you want to thrive in 2021, you will need some extremely centrist New Year’s resolutions that can keep you protected from the destructive rage-storms unleashed by political climate change.
I am sharing below six ideas that are potently centrist. They can help you sail through 2021 in safety and security by boosting your immunity to insanity. Feel free to pick one or pick all. As a special gesture in view of COVID-19, I’m waiving my right to royalties.
1. Read more books, if possible: I know you didn’t read as many books as you would have liked in 2020. But don’t blame yourself. The last thing you want to do when stuck at home with time on your hands is read a book — you’d rather use the time to stare at moving images on a plastic box. But 2021 shall be different. Stop feeling guilty for not reading as much as you should, and instead, pat yourself on the back every time you pick up a book, even if it’s only to kill a mosquito or raise the level of your laptop to avoid neck pain.
2. Save more, even if you don’t have an income: Have you read the book Rich Daddy, Poor Daddy ? No? Unless your daddy is Adani or Ambani, read it. You will learn that the one secret habit all billionaires have in common is that they save regardless of their employment status. So, don’t worry if you’ve lost your job and live on NREGA — just put whatever money you have in a savings account in a public sector bank so that it can give more loans to distinguished defaulters and expand its NPA portfolio. You don’t have to be a farmer to understand that every Indian’s well-being is directly proportional to the net worth of India’s crony capitalists.
3. Be a better parent: If you are a father or mother, you will know that the future of India is in your hands. How you bring up your child will determine whether they grow up into JNU-Jamia type urban naxals who demand secularism in India, or IIT-IIM-type NRIs who know that minorities deserve equality only in America. If your child is an intelligent, rebellious teenager, she might ask, “Why should India follow America only in privatisation of education and healthcare but not in protecting the right to propagate any religion?” As a centrist parent, you must tell her that freedom of religion is a very important issue and she should write an open letter on it to Imran Khan with a CC to FATF.
4. Start a new hobby: Right now, the most popular centrist hobby is rediscovering how the public proclamation of your pride in your religious and/ or caste identity in a constitutionally secular republic is not at all obnoxious. If you are a closet Islamophobe, this hobby’s therapeutic value is something you cannot miss.
5. Join a club: This offers the twin benefits of finding new people and new interests. Whether you’re a bleeding-heart liberal or a right-wing bigot, I recommend joining a club that has ‘Hindu’ or ‘Sanatan’ or ‘Sangh’ in its name.
6. Say ‘no’ to genocide: Never miss a chance to condemn the genocide of Uighurs in Xinjiang. And if you’re sure it won’t cost you your job or promotion, there is no harm in condemning inter-planetary genocide. But if any Indian expresses genocidal sentiments about fellow Indians, take a deep breath to avoid premature condemnation. Then ask for data, and highlight the need for nuance. If an anti-national jumps in to condemn the genocidal comment, counter her with an eloquent defence of freedom of expression.
If you make a sincere effort, any of these six New Year’s resolutions can keep you safe and gainfully distracted from real issues all through 2021. So, let me wish you — without passing judgment, or in any way disrespecting emotions such as grief, sadness and despair — a Happy allegedly New Year!
The writer is Social Affairs Editor, The Hindu .
