The prolonged pandemic lockdown has not turned things upside down, not as much as physical distancing, which is leaving many alone, in their moments of joy and sorrow.
It's not just weddings that take place without the usual pomp and fervour; even bereavements remain low key with limited or no attendance. Children and wards who work abroad and elsewhere in the country have had to miss the funeral of their parents, close relatives. They are unable to pay their last respects to their near and dear, even if they have not died of a coronavirus infection. Many others within the country and even State, could not attend the last journey of their loved ones, thanks to the lockdown. Amidst tears, they manage to catch some of the rituals on video calls, beamed to them overseas, with the help of technology.
An 87-year-old person, who was a professor in a Tiruchi college, died recently in his residence in Mogappair. His son and daughter were abroad and could not come. His sisters and a couple of others, five to six people together, attended the funeral. A close relative lamented, “The heir of the deceased could not come, and it is not customary for women to perform the last rites. We had to finally ask a male relative from Tambaram by sending him a picture of the dead body so that police could allow him reach here.”
Ordeals unlimited
Revathi Anandapadmanaban, of Bengaluru, explained her ordeal to reach Chennai to attend her relative’s funeral in Velappanchavadi. Ms. Revathi said, “After obtaining permission from local authorities in Bengaluru, we travelled in a car and had to approach the Krishnagiri Collector’s office after crossing the border. We had to show a picture of the dead body and the message from the family to get a pass. Then we reached the house of the bereaved where only 10 people were present. Some of the relatives had to watch the funeral through a video call.”
Syed Mansuruddin, hereditary trustee of Mount Road Dharga said, “Relatives are hesitant to visit the bereaved families as there is restriction on movement. Recently, the 70-year-old mother of my friend died due to ill health. There were only 10 or 15 attendees and the family had to move quickly to the burial ground for the last rites with few people in attendance.”
M.Venkatesh, whose 85-year-old father died of ill health in Nanganallur recently, narrated his ordeal. “Only ten people were there — my family, my brother’s family and my in-laws. None of our relatives were able to attend. Even the priests found it difficult to come home and perform the final rituals.”
“A 60-year-old woman died of ill health in Virugambakkam recently. She was from an affluent Christian family. Her family was left alone, as many relatives did not turn up. We could not bring the body to the church for special service and instead, the family had to go straight to the cemetery,” said P.B.Martin, parish priest of Infant Jesus church, Chinmaya Nagar.
Bereaved families are not able to perform obsequies on the 10th day since they are not able to bring priests or move out from home. Gnanavapi and Mukthi Karmasalas — places for performing rituals after the cremation — are closed.
Balasubramanian, a funeral undertaker in Gopalapuram said, “Now people are not hiring a freezer box to keep the body for hours. If somebody dies, he or she will be cremated the next hour.”
R.Ganapathy Subramanian, an employee of private bank said, “My father died at the age of 84 after illness at a hospital. We were only four to attend the funeral and perform the last rites. All my relatives are in Coimbatore or Madurai. No one could visit us.”
People under home quarantine after returning from foreign countries are facing piquant situations. Ashok Raj, general manager of a private firm, said, “My mother passed away while she was with my sister in Ekkattuthangal. I was not able to see her for the last time as I flew down from Oman on March 17 and was under home quarantine.”
“In some cases, we find there aren’t even enough people to place the body on the pyre,” said V.S. Ragavan, a priest, in Mambalam.
