Happy Birthday To You . Sing that twice while washing your hands to put in the requisite 20 seconds to fight the coronavirus.
Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees works too, even if it does go on for four seconds longer. It is the most health-conscious of songs, best known for being the rhythm for CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation). The pace is exactly right. As, of course, is the title.
It is useful to keep that song in mind as both handwashing and CPR might play key roles in the days and weeks to come.
Another One Bites the Dust has been recommended for CPR too, but there’s something about that name…
What of Indian songs as an aid for handwashing? The introduction to Kishore Kumar’s Eena meena deeka is terrific, but you have to remember a whole lot of nonsense words. Chaiyya chaiyya from Dil Se, repeated six times, might be recommended by doctors if they are not too young or too old.
For evergreen types, there is Bar bar dekho hazar bar dekho/ ke dekhne kee cheez hai hamara dilruba,/Talee ho, talee ho talee ho. Sing that twice each time. You can even pretend to be Shammi Kapoor prancing around in the movie.
For those who prefer something classical, Krishna nee begane baaro suggests itself. You need to sing those four words in yaman kalyan five times. More, and you will be wasting both soap and water.
Song writers are probably bemused at the idea of their works being put to medical use. Immortality is just a handwash away.
For those who find both Bollywood and the classical a strain on their voices and nerves, there is always poetry. John Donne’s No Man is An Island and Shelley’s Ozymandias fit the bill. Importantly, they remind us of the times we live in, our inter-dependency and what happens to all egomaniacs.
For those wanting something contemporary and relevant to the virus, playwright and poet Poile Sengupta has written the wonderful ‘Prohibitory Orders’, which goes like this:
This virus called corona
Doesn’t like us to have fun
It doesn’t want us to party
Or befriend anyone.
If we do meet, we are told,
We must stand a metre away,
We cannot shake hands or hug
And kiss? No! Never! Nay!
We must follow a certain lady
Who washed off bloody tints
I’ve scrubbed my hands so often
My fingers’ve lost their prints.
So I’ll wear a mask and go out,
I shall defy all orders,
No virus can pick me out
Or stop me crossing borders.
Stick that over your basin and read through. It should take 20 seconds, and by the end of the day you will be rid of that wishy-washy feeling.
Suresh Menon is Contributing Editor, The Hindu
