Last week, as I was dashing to meet deadlines before jumping onto a plane to attend Bahrain’s art fair, I had the ghastly realisation that my nails were a mess. I had simply had no time to carve out the one-and-a-half hours it takes to soak off, buff, smoothen, moisturise and reapply the gel polish that is every nail-obsessed woman’s solution to long-lasting manicures and pedicures. My nails, which looked like they had fought in the battle of Fallujah, were in a horrific state, and it was with considerable skill that I hid my hands from the Sheikhs and Sheikhas I met in Manama. Luckily, shaking hands is déclassé in that part of the world, and my cheeks were in reasonably good shape to offer up for kisses (only to the women of course). Thank goodness I was in the Gulf – otherwise I would never have survived the handshakes the rest of the world takes for granted. Men will never understand the shame and ignominy that women suffer when seen with chipped-off polish and broken nails.
Back in Mumbai a few days later, comfortably ensconced in the salon, I realised just how much time and money women invest in looking good. Think about it. Manicures and pedicures, hair washes, hair colouring and blow-drys, threading and waxing – and that’s just basic maintenance. Nowadays, everyone wants to look like their daughter’s sister, which means pursuing state-of-the-art anti-ageing treatments. Combine all this with raising kids, holding down a job, exercising, and well, looking good has never been this tough.
I decided to do an impromptu survey to see what my gal pals do to look good, and there was no better place to do research than at the Hello! Awards party. Ms Philanthropist, with her flawless complexion, seated to my right, was a fount of information. “Dahling, maintenance is so important. At home I use a derma roller, lots of serums and masks, but a dead giveaway are the eyes.” “What should one do for that?” I asked. “The bags under the lower eyelids can be removed – it’s an easy surgery called blepharoplasty,” she replied. I looked around me and it was true — hardly anyone had puffiness and eye bags. Was I the last person to know about this miracle eye surgery? Ms. Congeniality, who, like the actor Rekha, appeared ageless, leaned in. “What’s your secret?” I asked. “I don’t botox or use fillers,” she purred, “because I want my face to move when I talk. I do vampire facials.” “What’s that?” I asked, as images of sucking blood off someone’s face came to mind. “The dermatologist takes blood from your arm and spins it in a centrifuge to isolate and activate platelets to release growth factors that she then injects into your face,” she replied, sounding like the trained scientist she wasn’t. On further probing, I found that this is all the rage amongst women of a certain milieu.
It was time to consult a specialist. I reached out to the Harley Street-trained Dr Harshna Bijlani, whose Mumbai-based The Ageless Clinic is a skincare Mecca. She told me vampire facials were the latest treatment worldwide. “It’s a treatment using your own blood cells to increase your body’s ability to regenerate collagen, giving you tighter, brighter, less-pigmented skin,” she said. “This one super treatment can make you look years younger by reducing your fine lines, wrinkles, pigmentation, age spots and so much more.” A single treatment costs anywhere from ₹15,000 to ₹20,000. Other anti-ageing treatments include non-invasive, skin-tightening methods using light wave technology. These can cost up to a lakhof rupees. With some trepidation, I asked Dr Bijlani what she would recommend for me. “I can see the volume deflated around the side of your nose and pronounced laugh lines, which is natural at your age,” she said. Oh those pesky laugh lines. If I had been more dour, my face would’ve thanked me. Did I sign up for any of the treatments? Not yet. Instead, I opted for a good old-fashioned facial. For now, this seemed like the quickest and cheapest path to looking ageless like Rekha.
This fortnightly column tracks the indulgent pursuits of the one-percenters
