Fun as it can be, gossiping is as bad for you as refined flour. But a gossip detox takes more than a generic detox diet – you can hardly take your negativity and hide it in the back of the refrigerator for five days! Be prepared for a stop-start, messy, emotional process that will help you be better, feel lighter and happier.
Start with the whys: Begin by biting back on any critical and sarcastic remarks about others. No matter how funny it is, check out what your besetting sin is... Has it become a habit to pull others down with insensitive, bitter or spiteful remarks? Ask yourself why. Are you afraid of being seen as goody-goody? Do you feel the world has been kinder to others? Are you jealous or insecure around someone or a certain type of person? Address your real problem first. Make a promise to yourself and keep it to boost your self-esteem. Volunteer to see first-hand how others may have got more of a raw deal in life than you. Switch off your inner Rambo and let yourself be human sometimes.
Swap out negativity for positivity: Now comes the hard part. Where you would have said something bad, say something good. That may mean avoiding a topic altogether. Do it. Stop talking about the person you love to hate unless you can do it with moderation rather than sounding like a foaming lunatic!
Instead of talking about people, discuss experiences you have lots of good things to say about – your trip to Kyoto, a great meal in a restaurant, your favourite movie or author... Everyone’s life has some lovely stories and happy memories, so pull them out of cold storage. And air them out often and without hesitation.
And if a bunch of people get together to tear somebody apart, stay out of it. Remember, gossip nearly always leaks back, especially to the boss!
Keep a secret: Most of us would barely hesitate before dishing the dirt on another person, even though they may have shared something private one-on-one,or in a weak moment. But resisting the urge to blab is a valuable asset, especially in the workplace. Cultivate it by treating any info shared just with you (especially if it is something damaging) as a secret. Sure, telling everyone your colleague’s marital troubles may make you the centre of attention for about 15 minutes. But keeping the secret could turn a co-worker into a friend – and who does not want more of those? Put yourself in the other person's shoes, and think of how you would feel if someone spewed your secrets to the world, merely to while away a dull Tuesday afternoon.
Opting out of the vicious cycle of gossip can transform your life. So, bestie or backstabber? Friend or frenemy? You choose who you want to be.
