Children and pugs can teach a lesson or two. This happened two years ago. During a casual dinner conversation with his teenagers, V. Rajesh, a retail and shopper behaviour expert and author, realised that, with every new word he uttered, he was alienating them. “I thought I was being cool by saying things like ‘Hey kids, I am going to share an input with you.’ I didn’t realise that the word ‘input’ was shutting them off,” he recalls. He retired to bed that night, thinking how he could communicate with his children better, make them listen and reciprocate.
The next day, as his pug Shifu nuzzled and sniffed his hand, Rajesh observed him with a little more attention. “I realised that he conveyed his point with ease, by just looking at me wide-eyed whenever he wanted something. He taught me that one doesn’t necessarily need a string of words, but the right actions and body language can convey a lot,” he says.
From then on, Rajesh started consciously recollecting instances when he had successfully been able to close a deal as a retailer, little anecdotes from the different stories he had read, and snippets of experiences from different people who poured out their personal issues to him. Over the course of time, all of this came together as a neat script inside Rajesh’s head, and what took shape is his book Break Free – Unlock the Powerful Communicatorin you , which was launched recently at Starmark.
“Imagine that this whole communication skill is a one-lakh-piece jigsaw puzzle. You can’t solve it unless you have a reference point and a few clues to help you. This book does just that. It gives you that reference point to solve your jigsaw puzzle,” says Rajesh, who has also authored The Indian reTALEs and Out of Syllabus . Besides a separate box with ‘Key Takeaways’ at the end of each chapter, Break Free also includes a tracker that helps you record the improvement in your communication skills.
How do we know we are improving? According to Rajesh, communicating is not just talking, but making sure that the other person has got the point, and will reply in the way you want him or her to. If you can make that possible, you are a good communicator. “It’s just like being a good bowler, who knows exactly how to pitch the ball, foresees how the batsman will hit it, and assigns a fielder on the right spot to catch it,” he says, and adds, “Translating the same to an interaction — one must think about the various influences playing in the psychology of the recipient, like age, gender, cultural background and context.”
It is only when one is not thinking of these factors that issues arise. “Take for example, a husband and wife. When the wife complains about the washing machine not working, the husband waves her off, suggesting a call to the service centre. What he doesn’t understand is that the wife simply wants to share her feelings, and is not necessarily looking for a tangible solution. But a good communicator understands what the other person wants to hear and saves any scope for miscommunication,” he explains. Now, if being a good communicator can help one find peace at home, it’s worth a shot, isn’t it?
(Published by Rupa Publications, the book is priced at Rs.295.)
