It was 7 a.m. and I had just got into a share auto from Anna Nagar to my college in Nungambakkam. Half asleep, I plugged in my headphones and sat in the first available seat that caught my eye. Opposite me sat a woman clutching a leather bag to her chest; she seemed like she was on her way to office. I didn’t pay much attention to her even though she was looking at me beadily.
At the next stop, a young man got in and took the seat next to me. For some reason, this offended her. She threw me a disapproving look and started to swear under her breath. Now, I am a North Indian, but have lived in Chennai long enough to understand when I’m being sworn at. This was something she did not realise when she began complaining loudly about my “offensive behaviour” to everyone in the vehicle.
It took me a while to understand what her problem was: the side she was sitting on automatically became the designated women’s seat. The fact that I did not sit next to her and leave a perfectly empty seat free for the men, should they step into the share auto, made her angry. It did not matter that apart from her, there were three other college students in that seat.
The complaining escalated into shouting and name-calling; she insinuated that I was doing this because I wanted attention from the opposite sex. She even said that girls like me "are the reason for rapes in the city." I don’t recall what I said to her, but it really doesn’t matter.
Most of Chennai relies on share autos and buses for regular commute. Women complain about ‘eve-teasing’ at bus stands, railway stations, subways, desolate lanes and even crowded streets. But why haven’t we heard another side of the story, the one where women mistreat and disrespect other women? How is it alright if someone gets to question my character just because of where I choose to sit? The worst way you can hurt somebody is with your words.
Somehow, I find that I feel more wronged when it’s women who pick on me; it’s worse than being teased by men. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been told to expect this sort of behaviour from men when I travel by myself. I’ve been told to take refuge in the midst of women and ask them for help if need be. But nobody, not once, warned me about how some women could harass me for the way I look or behave.
No one told me that they too could rub against me in share autos or grope me in local trains. This isn't just about a physical invasion of space. When a woman transgresses boundaries in crowded places, it isn’t considered a problem.
We grew up listening to our parents say, “If men touch you inappropriately, say no,” but nobody asked us to be firm with women who nitpick.
