Smilingly yours: I believe… “Appreciation is twice blessed”

February 29, 2012 08:10 pm | Updated 08:10 pm IST

The critically acclaimed ‘Saagara Sangamam' dubbed as ‘Salangai Oli' in Tamil, was a hit in the 1980s. In this movie's climax, the hero, now in his 60s, is wheeled on to the stage after a wonderful dance performance by his disciple and introduced to the audience. They break into a rapturous applause in appreciation of his having trained the student so well. The protagonist, though extremely good in his dance has missed many an opportunity in his life to make it big. Not being used to this applause and having yearned for it all his life, he is moved to tears and gestures to the audience to continue clapping. The scene is poignant and brings a lump to the throat. The film, dramatic as it may seem, in a way tragically captures what lack of recognition can do to a person's art and life, setting both on a downhill journey.

Most performers confess that the adulation of the spectators is the secret of their energy. It is appreciation which makes them raise the bar for themselves and give their best to please the audience. It provides them with feedback that they are on the right track and pushes them to scale higher peaks in their respective arts. That appreciation can do wonders is equally true when it comes to laudable traits, nurtured talents, simple attempts, touching gestures and perfect habits that abound around us in our routine life.

However, when it comes to appreciation in day to day life, there are multiple takes. In a family show on TV, the lady of the house was mentioning that her day is made when her family members compliment a dish that she has prepared. She was complaining that they hardly do so, while friends and relatives think highly of her cooking skills.

The husband responded mentioning that there was no need to commend a routine chore; the son said he conveys his recognition with additional servings and the daughter admitted to bragging about her mother to her friends. What causes these non expressions or indirect expressions is debatable. It could be due to lack of the genial gene of appreciation or probably not knowing the right kind of expression. It could be to do with a thought that the person appreciated would become conceited or indifferent or the person appreciating would be taken for granted. No matter what the logic, the end result is a disheartened cook.

Appreciation is not merely an acknowledgement but positive feedback added to it. A well meant and well expressed appreciation is twice blessed. It enables the person who appreciates to feel an expanse of mind and brings joy to the person appreciated. Yet, it seems a commodity that is scarce and a skill that is rare.

Appreciation needs to be timely, clear, open, balanced and specific to make it real. Too much of raving would be cheap. Making much ado about nothing would be sycophantic. When not well meant, it could be hypocritical. When not well deserved, it could be destructive. Equally ‘too little, too late' would serve no meaningful purpose.

Appreciation is not just about ‘gratitude' expressed for help extended when needed or assistance rendered on special occasions. Indeed, many are comfortable with this. It is as much about genuine praise for what could otherwise be taken for granted in our routine. Such recognition can create a ‘feel good' factor at both ends. When there is consistency and aptness in appreciation, legitimate criticism would also be taken well in its spirit as a pointer for improvement. If there is something that is worse than lack of appreciation, that is a backhanded compliment which is just a veiled insult masked as praise.

Man's heart is neither a flower born to blush unseen nor a stream that springs to gush unheard. Nature may not mind being unnoticed, leave alone being appreciated; not so the human mind. A pat on the back does wonders to the spirit irrespective of age and whether on or off stage. An expression of endorsement can bring sunshine into the heart of the endorser and the day of the endorsed. A warm appreciation is sure to guarantee two bright smiles.

(The writer may be contacted at smilinglyyours7@gmail.com)

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