How many miseries lie in the small circle of a wedding ring! Striking the right alliance has become next to impossible, especially for middle class families. They can neither afford the luxury of meeting the high societal standards nor conduct a marriage below par.
Hyderabadi Muslims are also caught in this catch-22 situation. As a result, parents of the bride run from pillar to post to meet the dowry demands of the groom’s family while the damsels wilt waiting for the knight in shining armour. So when Abdul Rahman ultimately found the right partner for his daughter, that too without a fuss or hassle, he was besides himself with joy. This was facilitated by the ‘Du-ba-du’ (face to face) platform provided by the Urdu daily, Siasat, an event that has become a big hit with the community. Ever since it was launched in 2008, as many as 4000 marriages have taken place. Similar programmes were also conducted recently in Mahboobnagar, Karimnagar and Warangal. No wonder the Imperial Gardens at Tolichowki was bursting at the seams last week as hundreds of families descended to find an alliance for their wards.
While the programme has adversely hit the marriage bureaus, the parents are a relieved lot. They don’t have to pay a pie for registration and can get an alliance of their choice here. Another reason for its growing popularity is that alliances are finalised here without any dowry demand. In fact parents have to give an undertaking at the time of registration that they will not demand dowry and adhere to austerity in performing ‘nikah’.
Initially only lower middle class families used to avail the ‘Du-ba-du’ facility. “But now the middle and upper middle class families are also thronging to settle alliance for their wards.” says Abid Siddiqui, president, Minority Development Forum.Once parents register the names of their wards, the bio-data and photos are circulated among the aspirants. Then counsellors step in to stress the need for simple nikah minus any jahez demand.
The whole thing is systematically organised with the marriageable boys and girls categorised as per their qualifications — SSC, Intermediate, MCA, MBA, PG, Medicine, Engineering. For those looking for madrasa qualified boys and girls there is Aalim, Fazil and Hafiz categories to choose from.
There is a separate section where the divorcees and widows can register and find a partner. The best part is the programme is conducted as a social service, without the involvement of politicians. The organisers also try to promote the concept of just ‘ ek khana, ek meetha ’ (one dish, one sweet) norm in marriages. The idea is to save the community from extravagant marriages and the resultant debt trap.
