“Who wants to see the royal wedding?” asked my husband irritably as starry-eyed TV newscasters gushed about the wedding in channel after channel. “I do.” In these days of scams, tsunamis and suicides, a feel good story would be an ideal mood elevator. My response to his rhetorical question unconsciously echoed a vital part of the marriage vows as I smartly plucked the remote, the sceptre of authority in a drawing room, from his unprotesting fingers and abandoned myself unabashedly to watching the live playing out of a carefully planned modern ‘fairy tale.'
‘Wedding of the century'
The wedding was touted ‘the wedding of the century,' never mind that this century is only 10 years old and non-royal celebrities are probably already making their own plans. The build up to the event was smart. Headlines like ‘A modern love story,' ‘A very English wedding,' and ‘A Prince marries a commoner' caught your eye. The democrat in you was pleased until you realised that the ‘commoner' is the daughter of a millionaire that any prince belonging to a country with a tottering economy would have been happy to wed.
More interest was evoked by the details about the beginning of this love story. Prince William fell for Kate after viewing her in a see-through dress at a college fashion show. He came, he saw through and was conquered. No wonder her wedding dress evoked worldwide speculation. Would the promise of the see through dress be kept? The royal house whipped up the suspense refusing to give any detail about the dress.
The dress
Two billion TV viewers, not to mention the two thousand invited guests and the thousands lining the streets, wait eagerly for the first glimpse of The Dress. And the first public kiss on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. But before that a whole lot of other details are given by the carefully chosen politically correct mixed-race presenters – who's been invited, who's not, who got the royal snub – “Sarah Ferguson!” the presenter said gleefully, and “Obama, Tony Blair, Gordon Brown.”
Kate will vow to ‘keep' the Prince, we are told. Fears that history should not repeat itself? The royal family is very ‘excited' about the day, goes another statement. Well, well, good to know the stiff upper lip and the famed British reserve will thaw for a day at least.
Kate will not vow to obey her husband, it is declared. Wow! A modern, independent, feminist royal, you think admiringly until you learn that the obedience bit had been scrapped from the wedding vows in 1922!
The presenter, hardly able to keep the disappointment out, announces that the queen has bestowed the titles of Duke and Duchess of Cambridge on the couple. Duchess? Sounds too matronly for a young bride, but a consoling voice says she would still be the Princess William of Wales. What sort of title is that? And would an independent woman, who kept obedience out of her vow, like to be called ‘Princess William'?
Capping it all
The guests arrive and it's time to view the hats. Big hats, small hats, lean hats, fat hats, father hats, mother hats, fruit and nut hats, hats with flowers, leaves, bows, sticks. Victoria Beckham's saucer-like hat seemed to be stuck incongruously to her forehead through sheer will power (and probably super glue) while some other creations were designed to guarantee nightmares for babies for months on end. I wouldn't have missed these for anything. I haven't laughed so much in a long time. The Prime Minister's wife proved to be a spoilsport though; she didn't wear a hat. Too bad, Samantha Cameron.
Enter the bride and The Dress is back on everyone's minds. Oh, the disappointment! Is this the dress to launch a thousand hips? Why, only the sleeves are see-through.
After the wedding, the crowd readies itself to witness the first public kiss on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. Another disappointment. Isn't this supposed to be the grand merger of the past and the future, the royalty and the world? But it makes up in quantity what it lacks in quality – there are two self conscious pecks instead of the traditional one.
The British public, starved for a live royal icon to adore, has taken to heart its new English rose. Move over, Princess Diana, and welcome Duchess Catherine.
