Good Grief

Looking for a bridge over troubled water? Krithvi Shyam, our young psychologist, addresses your worst anxieties.

June 22, 2014 08:44 pm | Updated 09:04 pm IST

I’m a 14-year-old girl. Of late, I feel distressed because of my parents. They’re constantly blaming me and making fun of the things that I’m insecure about. They always compare me with other kids and constantly remind me of my mistakes. They’re not granting my freedom. They make me feel worthless. My parents are killing my dreams more than anybody else. I don’t know how to deal with them. Help! - PARENT TRAPPED

Sometimes, parents think that kids can be motivated to better themselves by reminding them of their mistakes and comparing them with others. This doesn’t always work! Your parents are probably under the impression that this tactic is helping you, but if it’s not, you need to tell them so. Explain that you know they have your best interests at heart, but that you are aware of what your shortcomings are, and their words are just making you feel more upset. Ask for their support in overcoming your insecurities, not fuelling them.

As for your freedom, that’s something that varies from one family to the next, so you might find that you have less freedom than some of your friends, and more freedom than others. So discuss this with your parents and try to reach a compromise, while keeping your expectations realistic. Most people your age don’t see eye-to-eye with their parents, so you’re not alone in feeling conflicted.

Relationships, office politics, peer pressure, teacher trouble... mail your questions to Mark "Good Grief" in the subject .

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