I’m 20 years old. There’s some congenital problem in my right hand, making its usage limited, owing to which I had to become a left-handed person. And my problems start right from a hand-shake. Some overlook my disability, and continue casually. However, I hate it when someone either shows sympathy towards me or ignore me.
As I belong to an orthodox family, I’m forced to use my right hand for certain activities such as eating, doing pooja , taking the kumkum, and handling money among other things. It is difficult for me to use my right hand to eat and I end up using my left hand for which I face a lot of criticism. This hurts my feelings a lot. Some parents even use me as an example to teach their children to eat with their right hand saying, “… or else everybody will avoid you like how they avoid that akka .” My disability is not a problem for me at all since I am able to manage everywhere without anybody’s help. But our society is such that I am invariably made to lose my confidence every now and then. This makes me conscious of using my left hand in public and has made me withdrawn. It’s been over two years since I joined college and I hardly have any friends. I dislike going out, or even to college, and as a result, my performance is suffering as well. My mom is a single parent and already faces so many hardships that I don’t want to burden her further with my problems. So kindly help me.
- IGNORED BY SOCIETY
It’s great that you’ve been able to adapt to your everyday life despite the limitations of your right hand. Society should be applauding you for this, but instead, it’s making you feel bad about yourself, which is ridiculous. You’ll never fully escape from people asking questions about your hand, but feel free to take control so that the conversation goes in the direction you desire. If you don’t want to go into the details, say “I have a medical problem with my right hand, so now I use my left. It was hard at first, but now I’m used to it and it doesn’t affect me at all”. If people push you into talking about it further, just say “I’m sorry, I’m not comfortable discussing this; can we talk about something else please?”
Don’t take it personally if strangers avoid you because of your hand (consider yourself lucky to have dodged interacting with such narrow-minded individuals!). If people are using you as an example to teach their children, you should definitely correct them politely but firmly, by explaining that what they’re doing is offensive and that you use your left hand because of a disability, not out of choice. Start making an effort to find friends; you’ll be surprised at how many people would be happy to accept your friendship and ignore your hand. Perhaps you may also encounter rejection, but this is a part of life and confronting this possibility will only make you a stronger person.
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