It always feels good to see our favourite heroes or heroines beat the daylights out of the bad guys, be it at the bus stop, in a dark alley, a busy highway or even at a restaurant. We even imitate their punches, kicks and smart dodges at home. But when we face a situation similar to what our heroes have in real life, almost always our nerves fail us or we grab the opportunity to show off the well rehearsed kicks and end up falling flat on our face. It's because the villain isn't someone who is a director's puppet but someone who has a real intention of inducing harm – mental or physical.
Avoid the conflict
In such situations it helps to be prepared. But experts say that rather than trying to get yourself out of the situation, it helps to avoid one in the first place. Be smart and accept today's realities, for instance know that it isn't safe for you to venture out alone late in the night or in lonely alleys. You might be in the mood for adventure but your attacker might be in the mood for some too. And most importantly, trust your intuition. If you sense something wrong in a particular situation, or feel uncomfortable with a person, back off completely.
Bhavana, a college student, recalls a time when she would walk to her house from the bus stop and on one such occasion a strange man kept staring at her. After this continued for a couple of more days, she started feeling very uncomfortable and arranged for her brother to pick her up from the bus stop for a week. And it worked. Seeing her accompanied by a man and not alone anymore, the man simply disappeared. “I could have confronted him and given him a piece of my mind, but I had no idea how he would have reacted. And I also didn't want to aggravate the situation,” says Bhavana. It is a clear case of conflict avoidance.
Popular suggestions also include, keeping family or friends informed about your whereabouts and also being aware of your surroundings; for instance, the exits in a room or a hall or the security arrangement. “After night shows, when I have to take a rick back home alone, I make it a point to call my folks at home. I tell them the rick's number and the route I am taking in the earshot of the driver so that he knows it is unwise to try anything with me,” shares Anandh whose friend's bad experience during a late night rick ride has made him more cautious.
When walking down the street and you know someone is following you, try to approach people or shops on the street for assistance.
“Never assume anything. Never assume that the man who is approaching you is innocent,” advises Sreeram, a KravMaga instructor in Chennai. He goes on to add that, “It helps to always be cautious than being taken by surprise in the last minute.” Also Sreeram suggests looking at the larger goal in a confrontation. As when you are on your way to an important meeting and there is a biker who is constantly provoking you by honking and driving rashly, think of what is important – making it to the meeting on time and safely or trying to prove a point to the biker? “Forget about your ego,” he says.
Diffusion
In a situation of provocation or conflict, what is important is trying to not let the situation get out of hand. In the event of verbal abuse the best thing to try and do is to ignore it. “Many people do not know how to handle it, and let the abuse get to them; this in turn develops into stress and depression,” says Archana Achuthan, Director, Chennai. According to Archana, the best thing to do is not show vulnerability. When we start reacting to the abuse, then the abuser only gets motivated to prolong it. They are usually looking for soft targets. In familiar environments like an office or college, the only way to handle it would be to complain to the higher authorities or avoid the person completely.
In the case of a physical attack or confrontation, try talking your way out of it. “Violence begins where civilization ends. So use all civilised behaviour to avoid the conflict. Only as the last resort, use your body. Everything need not end in violence,” says Sreeram. Most attackers look for soft targets, so never show that you are scared. Resistance and aggression can dissuade your attacker, as most of them would want to get it done with quickly.
Be prepared
“Fight or flight is usually anybody's reaction in an attack,” says Archana. While flight is the easier option (and no, it is not a shame to do so. Saving your life always comes first.), fight comes when you have no choice and/ or are well prepared and confident of what you are going to do. It requires a lot of common sense and presence of mind too. All these come with the knowledge of fending off your attacker, through self-defence training or general awareness. Proper self-defence training through Karate, Judo, Kick boxing or KravMaga, you will learn the techniques of surviving an attack. But even that needs mental conditioning, one that allows you to stay calm and think clearly during an attack so that you can put what you have learnt to use.
General awareness, on the other hand, comes with reading and observing situations. For instance, you could read up and internalise a tip as important as this one: when in a situation where your attacker is holding you from behind, rather than trying to elbow him or stomp his feet, use your head to give your attacker a blow on his face. Also learn of the vulnerable parts in the human body (see box) that can be attacked to immobilise your attacker temporarily thereby giving you enough time to escape.
Always carry some self-defence products like a pepper spray, chilli powder, pocket knife etc. If nothing, use your presence of mind and see if anything in the vicinity or the ones available at hand can be used to defend yourself. Like your laptop bag that can be used to shield yourself (your head is surely worth more than your laptop), a handbag that can be swung at your attacker or even an umbrella. For Olivia, it's the heels of her footwear that come to her rescue. “While travelling in a crowded bus, if I know that the guy behind me is trying to act funny, I poke his feet hard really hard with my heels. It is sure to cause some pain and no one can complain in a crowded bus,” she shares matter-of-factly.
Generally, on a day-to-day basis “Do the required workout to keep the body healthy and fit. Do meditation to keep the mind calm, relaxed, alert and be in the present moment,” says George Thomas, Founder and President of Fu Sheng Yuan Tai Chi Academy-India Chapter.
Self-defence ultimately comes down to using your head, at times quite literally too. Be aware, stay safe and do not try to become a hero but rather learn to be a survivor of the streets.
(Cobra Self Defence Pepper Spray, India's perhaps first indigenous pepper spray. Available online at: http://www.cobraspray.com/)
Smart moves
Vulnerable spots in the body
Eyes
Nose
Mouth
Chin
Groin
Knees
Ankles
They are called vulnerable spots because:
They are easy to reach
They are sensitive
They cannot be exercised so the pain/injury is the same for everybody irrespective of size or fitness level.
Hitting these spots causes immobility that will give you enough time for you to run away or get help.
For more read up on: http://kravmaga-chennai.blogspot.com/
Girls, be aware
Steps to defend oneself from a rape attempt:
1. Insert one knee between the attacker's buttock and ankle: The person is now seated on your thigh rather than his own folded leg.
2. Lift hip: this ensures that the attacker's balance and weight depend on the victim's hip position.
3. Tilt hip to the same side as that of your knee between the attacker's buttock and ankle: This shifts the attacker's centre of gravity making him lose balance.
The technique is based more on physics rather than the victim's strength.
Courtesy: KravMaga, Chennai
Read up
http://kidshealth.org/teen/safety/safebasics/self_defense.html
http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Common-sense-Self-Defense-Tips-For-Men&id=63393
http://www.safetyforwomen.com/tips.htm
http://www.real-self-defense.com/self_defense_tips.html
http://www.talewins.com/protectyourself/selfdefense.htm
