How to… Make excuses

Keep a notebook to jot down memories and details of every single unpleasant incident/accident that’s out of the ordinary . You never know when you may need to tell that story. You could use this to explain everything from why you were late or why you couldn’t make the deadline . Given all the rich details, people are most likely to believe you.

Make yourself the butt of the joke. This is absolutely essential. Your excuse should make you look like an idiot, which is what makes the person you are telling the story to believe that it happened.

No problem if you can’t tap your memory for any funny incident involving you. Think about the most interesting story you’ve heard… that happened to someone else outside the circle you are about to use this on. Now, when you are narrating this story as an excuse, adapt it by adding some quirk people generally associate with you .

Whatever be your excuse, the most important thing is the person you are telling this to should have never ever heard anything like it before. So, don’t use the obvious ones: ‘Flat tyre’, ‘It was raining’, ‘Granny died’, ‘Accident’, etc… That’s plain amateurish. Instead, go for: ‘Donated blood for an emergency’, ‘Scuffle with traffic policeman over a wrong fine’, ‘Had to bail out your best friend who eloped’, ‘bumped into Shah Rukh Khan/Sachin Tendulkar/Rajinikanth when you went to drop off a friend at the airport, and had a long chat because his flight was late’…

If you can’t think of anything, use this blanket excuse. “No Excuses. I am really sorry. But maybe, I will tell you what happened another day . Just too shaken up with a personal crisis. I am really sorry.”

(The author is a veteran of making excuses. This story, for example, was due a few months ago)

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Printable version | Jun 14, 2021 2:42:26 PM |

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