This is strictly for people who are desperate to be in the public eye. Yeah, some of us thrive on that sort of thing. So what's the easiest way? Flood Facebook and Twitter with blow-by-blow updates about your life, including what you are wearing and what your not. Don't forget the video. Go berserk on YouTtube. Upload the ones you are your looking your best in and showing off your talent (if you have any, that is!). Then raise a hue and cry, and say some random stalker has put up those personal videos. It also helps if you pretend as if like one of your many (non-existent) stalkers has hacked into your account and ‘stolen' your photographs.
Another easy trick is to pick a fight. Family feuds, in particular. Washing dirty linen in public is the thing to do. Storm out of your house sniffling, beat your chest and bawl your eyes out because your bitter half got you a Max Mara cocktail dress instead of a Cavalli. I mean, how dare he forget Cavalli drapes your body better than the other brands? Call for a press conference and wallow in self-pity because he doesn't love you anymore.
While we are on the topic of clothes, the easiest set thing to do is have a wardrobe malfunction. Going by previous records, lesser known individuals have suddenly shoot to fame after their outfits decided to fall apart in public. You don't need any talent for this, but do practise the look of shock and horror.
Or, you could unabashedly badger journalists and make sure every detail of your life is mailed to the media houses. Create a fake email id and write to them pretending you are a PR person. Type in saucy details about your numerous love lives, substantiating each with photographs. The really desperate establishments might just throw in a line about you in case they run out of content.
When all else fails, write a book. So what if you can't string a proper sentence in Eenglish and still can't tell when to use have or has? Write about your travails. How your hair got wet just after it had painstakingly been curled at the salon. Or, the tragic incident when your mother asked you to chop some onion and garlic just after you got a manicure done. The readers may not sympathise with you, but they might just laugh at your stupidity. Remember no publicity is bad publicity.
