Is communicating an art, a science, a talent, a skill, internal or superficial? The analysis can go on and on. It looks so simple on paper. We have hundreds of self-help books to testify this. But then it's like a recipe book. You have beautiful pictures, the ingredients, process, cooking, garnishing and ooh la la…the dish is ready. But the sad part is - you can't eat it.
But if you do want to eat it what is it that you have to do? Take the list of ingredients required, check what you have in your kitchen, shop for the rest and then start the process of cooking. This is reality.
The same funda applies to communication! You have to find out the various skills required to be an articulate communicator, the skills that you possess and the levels, find out what more you would require and then go about developing, honing and perfecting the skills. Sadly, you can't buy them from a supermarket.
But there are differences. The comfort level; confidence; privacy; practice; expertise; familiarity and so on you have while cooking and communicating. Our communication pattern and effectiveness changes from time to time.
For instance, in a group which is familiar, known and similar to us we manage alright.
But the moment we are in a situation which may have strangers, or people who are very different from us or it is a topic which is not known or comfortable to us, that's when we lose our inner comfort and we are caught in emotions like confusion, panic, frustration, envy, hate among others and the result - we fail to communicate /respond at all or it comes out all wrong. We put ourselves in such a hopeless situation that we lose control of our senses. But it needn't be so.
Let's take a look at what stops us from being confident communicators.
Mark - L (Low) M (Medium) H (High) as applicable to you.
Language (any language/s that you use)
Accent
Articulation
Spelling
Vocabulary
Grammar
Sentence structuring
Writing
Speaking fluency
Voice
Strength
Composure
Control
If you have scored L or M in the above, you have some serious work to do.
Confidence
Fear
Anxiety
Inhibitions
Tension
If you have scored M or H is this, you have more serious work to do.
But the good news is every problem has a solution, provided you are willing to accept, change, learn, relearn and work smart.
Effective communication is a combination of both internal elements and external skills.
If we have to change ourselves, it's more like working on a horizontal bar in various areas. It's a slow but sure build up of aspects which requires finding out and accepting our deficiencies, have specific goals, plan of action and more important successful completion of tasks.
And you have taken the first step.
(The writer is a transformation expert and can be contacted on babita@persona24carats.com/www.persona24carats.com)
