Forgot Password?

Creating a web account is no big deal. Can someone say keeping track of passwords is as easy as that?

January 22, 2011 11:35 am | Updated 11:35 am IST

110123-SM-forgot password

110123-SM-forgot password

Last week, someone asked me for my mobile phone number. A mild panic set in. “Give me yours, I'll give you a missed call…” I said. But that cruel person caught on. “Aha! Forgotten your own number, have you? It happens, it happens…”

Well the reason why numbers are refusing to stay in my head any more is because they have been slowly edged out of their residence in the left side of my cranium by a number of intruders, and these intruders are called Passwords.

There are so many of them jostling for space, all yelling Remember me! Remember me! that I am wondering where to go and get extra RAM space in my brain. Only then will I ever keep track of my Yahoo password, my ATM password, my online railway booking password, my Credit Card protected password , my Cheap Airline Ticket password, my Movie Ticket Booking password, my Theatre Club password, my Investments Portfolio password, and not forgetting, my dead pet cat's name. Some sites even ask you for that.

Those days

When computers first entered our lives, it was all so different: I had only one password to let me into the exciting cyber-world. It was so easy to remember (perhaps because my password was ingeniously called PASSWORD). Those eight letters would magically gain me entry to my mail. Soon I kept the very same password for every new website I discovered.

But a geek pal of mine was horrified that I had a password called PASSWORD in the first place. What a ridiculous thing! Even a moron could hack into that, change it at once!!

So I picked a good four-letter word. (The word in fact was GOOD, not what you just thought of). But suddenly, those stern doormen at these gates of entry got annoying. “Your password must have at least 2 numerals” said one. Oh no! So I decided to do some numerology to see which numbers I could choose. I went to a Numerology website for this, but first I had to enrol. And guess what it asked for? Yes, that's right.

Fed up of always hitting the “Forgot Password?” button to get anywhere,

I decided one day that there'd be no more fancy passwords for me. My name would be my password.

So under “Type your new Password here” I put my own name.

A rude red message started flashing immediately: “TOO OBVIOUS!”

These cyber-doormen who check our passwords were getting increasingly judgemental, even cheeky.

So I randomly looked around, and picked a name from the TIME cover lying next to me. “OBAMA” I typed. “TOO WEAK!” was the prompt response. Obama? Weak? The American people were not going to like that…

Ok then, how about just GOD. “Too short!” it said. I tried to make that OH-GOD, exactly what I had just exclaimed. “Try something better!” said the mean message again. Now who could be better than God?

This went on and on, till I finally made up a very rare combination of letters and numbers in a secret mystifying code that even Dan Brown would have gone crazy trying to crack.

“You did it! CONGRATS. Your Password has been successfully CHANGED!” flashed on my screen. I was flush with triumph. There was even a sweet smiley button on the screen that winked at me twice.

The trouble is: with all that exhilaration of getting it right at last, I forgot to write down this amazing password I had just invented. So I've got to hit “Forgot Password?” and start all over again. But forgetting a password can be useful sometimes.

I was overjoyed at an email I received once from a certain ISSAKA BANGU from Nigeria, promising me $4,000,000,00 from an African bank , just by giving him my Bank Account and Password. I suddenly couldn't remember what it was, in all my excitement.

And that story has a happy ending; I wasn't rendered bankrupt by day's end.

But I am sure I am better than my pal Tina with this password thing in computers. And when Tina can't figure out something she never hesitates to ask Customer Care for help. This is what happened to her:

Customer Care: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Tina: The smiling picture of me next to the Pyramids in Egypt.

Customer Care: Er, well, what I meant is: what stage are you in logging into the internet?

Tina: I typed in a Password but nothing happened…

Customer Care: Are you sure you used the right password?

Tina: Yes, I'm sure. I did exactly what I've seen all my colleagues do.

Customer Care: Can you tell me what password you typed in?

Tina: Sure. Six dots.

Meanwhile, I must tell my pal Tina that she and I are not alone in our confusion over Passwords. Here's what I read about this woman who was asked why she had such a long password:

mickeydonaldtomjerrylaurelhardylondon.

Apparently she was merely following that website's clear instructions : “The password must contain at least six characters and one capital.”

Indu Balachandran is a Travel and Humour columnist. Email: indubee8@yahoo.co.in

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