Dear Aristotle,
This forum is absolutely ridiculous! I am just sick and tired of it and the random thoughts that are expressed in it. The whale shark takes the cake. Why would anyone write letters when he is uneducated?
And pray tell me, why are we trying to be like man when we have myriad grievances against him?
I, the Curious Cat, have turned into Furious Cat! I am not going to pussyfoot around any issue. I am going to call a spade a spade. I dare to put the cat among the pigeons. I can let the cat out of the bag or speak my mind freely. It may start a major row. I don’t care.
Let me start with that the Indian bull frog. Who does he think he is? I could tell you what he is — a bag of cats — bad tempered and nasty. He needs to live under a cat’s foot to keep in check.
They say one cannot get much done by being careful and polite. A cat with gloves gets no mice. So, dumb donkey, here is a piece of advice for you — drop dead. That should certainly shut you up. If you think the others are any better, think again.
Utter trash!
Tell me, what is the problem with the bovines? They seem more nervous than a cat on a hot tin roof! They should go back to grazing. This discussion is not their cup of tea. Speaking of not doing what one is not good at, Bonnet monkey, stop sending your sloppy pirated “masterpieces” and save yourself from the boos and catcalls that come your way; just stick to thieving fruits. That, I understand, is your forte. By the way, be glad, liars these days are not punished by having their tongues chopped off and fed to the king’s pet cats. Add this to your trivia collection — that was the origin of the phrase “Cat got your tongue”.
Ah ha, Bonnet monkey, I have another interesting thought. Why don’t we revive the punishment of a few lashes with the cat o’nine tails? You won’t survive that unless you had nine lives like a cat!
I feel so good writing this!
Dog my cats! What an astounding collection of rubbish that must be in the mailbag!
Hey, wait a minute — I remember a couple of letters that were not so bad. Not a cat’s pajamas — most certainly not, but a shade more interesting than the rest. It has been written by a minute pest and the other by the catnapping emperor with egg on his face — pardon me, with egg on his feet. That’s what I like. However, I do not care for those catty ones posted by those New Guinea hellcats. They were absurd — enough to make a cat laugh. I wonder what viciousness makes these females fight like cats and dogs?
In conclusion, I go back to my first point — why ape man? Can we not think differently? Can we not set our own standards? Can we not raise the bar here? Perhaps, it would be next to impossible — quite like herding cats!
Curious Cat
Reply from Aristotle
Hi sourpuss,
Your cat idioms and phrases give me indigestion. Doesn’t curiosity kill the cat? How come you are still around?
Here, read this delightful limerick…
There once were two cats of Kilkenny
Each thought there was one cat too many
So they fought and they fit
And they scratched and they bit
‘Til instead of two cats there weren’t any.
