A strange thing has happened to time ever since we got caught up in the digital world. From the microsecond (one millionth of a second) to the femtosecond (one quadrillionth, or one millionth of a billionth, of a second) and beyond, we’ve seen the rapid shrinking of response time in various contexts. This has made us more impatient, less tolerant of delays, and, occasionally, we have the sense that we are hurtling crazily towards the future without the luxury of looking out of the window and enjoying the scenery. We send a query into cyberspace and expect thousands of answers in a fraction of a second. We send a text on a messaging app and expect a reply the moment our screen says “delivered.” And on our part, we feel pressured to answer the instant someone throws a question at us.
Fear of delayIn this era of instant back-and-forth, we rarely pause to reflect on what we’ve heard and how we might respond to it. Then, we’re often left wondering about whether we really understood the question, or if we could have given a better answer, or kicking ourselves mentally for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Anxiety often makes us respond too quickly. We fear that any delay in answering might be perceived as lack of confidence or, worse, as not knowing the answer. In many situations, we feel time stretching out; even a few seconds’ pause seems too long. It’s important to remember, however, that this is only a perception—most likely, the person asking the question does not even notice the time that has passed.
The space between a question and its answer is the time for a short (or long, as the case may be) internal dialogue. This is when we confront the question, turn it over in our minds, think about what is expected in the specific context and then figure out the best way to respond. In this brief space between asking and answering, we frame the answer, both the words and the tone, so that what is finally delivered is well considered.
Of course, there are situations where quick repartee is called for, where the spontaneity of an answer is more important than the content. This is usually in social situations, or in certain kinds of competitive events where one is being judged not only on the basis of the knowledge one has, but also the speed with which one is able to exhibit that knowledge in an appropriate manner. But in an educational or employment setting, this is generally not the case; speed is less important than substance.
In an interview or viva-voce, for instance, the people on the other side of the table are interested in what you have to say, in how you might think about and deal with a certain issue. In such situations, it helps to listen carefully to what is being asked, even ask the person to repeat or clarify the question if you don't understand it, and then frame your response.
Pause to thinkThere’s absolutely no shame in taking the time to think; in fact, it shows that you take the whole interaction seriously, and most interviewers would appreciate seeing you give thought to something they have asked about. In this pause between listening to the question and giving your answer, these are some things you could think about:
* Does the question require you to provide information (what you know) or opinion (what you think)?
* How much detail is demanded in this context?
* What is the level of complexity that is demanded?
* Why is this question being asked at this point?
* Does the question relate to anything else that has been asked?
If you are facing an interview panel, you may also wish to consider which of the panelists you want to primarily direct your answer to—and this may not be the person who asked the question, but someone who is either sympathetic or who has shown a specific interest in the topic.
Even in less formal or social interactions, the pause between asking and answering can be crucial, even amounting to the difference between making and breaking relationships. Taking the time to understand why someone is asking a question, and what they are really expecting in answer, can help you decide what you really want to give in response—whether you wish to meet those expectations or lay out your own, in return. Often, the problem with answers is not that they are wrong in themselves, but that they are not really what was demanded by the question in that particular context.
This space — even if it is actually no more than a microsecond — is important to cultivate and pay attention to, no matter which medium you are interacting within. Writing and responding to instant messages, replying to emails, answering a question posed over the telephone or in that all-important interview — interactions are meant to be thoughtful, not mechanical. And it’s that space between Q and A that contains the opportunity for thought.
Happy New Year!
The author teaches at the University of Hyderabad and edits Teacher Plus magazine. Email: usha.bpgll@gmail.com
