My name is Farrokh Bulsara but many know me as Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen. This week, I decided to visit Mumbai for two reasons. One, I had spent part of my childhood here. Two, I believe people are loving my biopic Bohemian Rhapsody and in barely a week, actor Rami Malek has become more popular than I was in 27 years.
I landed on Tuesday morning. At the airport, they played instrumental versions of Queen songs. I felt like returning to London. Nobody recognised me as they had last seen me years ago, and now my beard flowed to my navel. The Uber cab played an EDM version of my soulful anthem ‘It's A Hard Life’ and they made me sound like Nicki Minaj.
The hotel at Queen’s Circle was worse. Didn’t the area have a different name earlier? The newspapers had reviews describing Malek as Queen’s vocalist, with Freddie Mercury enacting him brilliantly. In the shower, the soap was branded ‘Another One Eats The Dust’. The pressure cooker in the kitchenette was called ‘Under Pressure’.
I headed out and saw a group of fisherwomen singing ‘Bee Bill Bee Bill Roke Yoo’. Next, I was at a coffee joint named Bohemista in Parel. A group of youngsters were singing ‘I Want To Break Free’, ‘Radio Ga-Ga’ and ‘Somebody To Love’. I asked if they were Queen fans. A young man replied, “Huge fans since the past week. Never heard of them before.” I asked how many songs they knew. A lady answered, “Only these three. Who cares as long as Rami darling sings them?”
I joined another table where one old guy was explaining to a starry-eyed audience why he loved Queen and how he had shaken Mercury’s little finger after a concert. I asked him the meaning of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. He replied, “Bohemia is brinjal and rhapsody is a flower. So brinjal flower.” I asked him his favourite song. ‘Bicycle Race’, he said.
I needed a Parsi lunch and headed to Café Ideal in Fort. The dishes were all Queen specialities — Mercury farcha, Freddie akhoori, Seven seas of boti, Mustapha nu custard. I then decided to catch the film at Sterling. Nobody recognised me though some admired my beard. One asked whether I was Billy Gibbons from the band ZZ Top and requested an autograph. I signed as Freddie Mercury — he went away, happy and clueless.
My flight was late that night. I decided to check out a Bollywood bar and an English retro pub in Bandra. I first visited Rani Ka Adda. That night, they only played Queen — no Hindi songs. The DJ told me it was the flavour of the season. The retro joint was called Night At The Opera. Visitors were asked to sing Queen songs on karaoke and nobody went beyond the five or six common hits. I regretted having ever done ‘I Want To Break Free’ and ‘Radio Ga-Ga’.
Finally, I decided to try my luck. So I sang ‘Is This The World We Created?’ And guess what! I won the first prize and was gifted the complete CD and DVD collection of Queen. The DJ told me to treasure the set and form my own tribute band. I said I will treasure this visit. Bombay or Mumbai, you have, you have, rocked me.
