Sangeet Naukri Ghusanewala, my boss at the Ullu Banao music placement agency, suddenly landed up in office after missing in action for three months. We couldn't recognise him in his purple kurta and long hair. “Where were you, sir? We were worried,” asked his secretary Bulbul. “Call me Pandit Ghusanewala,” he shot back, taking out a tabla set, before reciting bols and playing some beats. His pet monkey Bandar Bhai danced like it was some electronic dance music tune.
Short cut to success
I asked, “Since when did you learn tabla? And why Pandit, without doing your first concert?” Ghusanewala looked angry. He yelled at me, “Kansur, that’s the trend these days. I went on a global tour after reading Jules Verne’s Around The World in 80 Days . You guys don’t know literature. Fiji, Panama, Falkland Islands, Brunei, Iceland, Tahiti. In Panama, I met Pandit Panditkumar Pandit who taught me the tabla. He is only 17.” The boss went on, “In Fiji, there was Carnatic singer Vidushi Vidya Vidyarthi and in Tahiti there was Ustad Waah Bajanewala who played Hindustani violin. All teenagers.” Bulbul responded, “Sir, I can’t find any of these names on Google.” Ghusanewala sneered, “Don’t call me Sir. It’s Panditji, the musical legend.” Bandar Bhai started having hiccups.
I told Ghusanewala this trend has been visible in India for a while now. He declared, “That’s the idea, Kansur. Going by our company’s mission and vision, we should create more young Pandits, Ustads, Vidwans and Vidushis. Don’t bother whether they have done concerts or even learnt. Just give them the titles. People do this after playing five years. We can start from scratch.” I couldn’t resist, “Can we begin with Pandit Bandar Bhai?” The monkey's hiccups stopped. Ghusanewala didn’t have boxing gloves, luckily. He said, “You guys don’t take me seriously. This is my dream project. We are here to revolutionise the music industry. Tell me one music label which has done this.”
Teaching the boss
I reminded him of our earlier brainwaves like the girl band and tribute shows which never took off. He announced, “We have to move on. Get cracking right away. Don’t waste time. Bulbul, find out some affordable designers who make fancy kurtas or sell silk sarees in bright colours. Kansur, your work starts now. No vodka or wafers till I get a project game plan.” I said, “Done. Let’s create an email ID called bandarbulbul@gmail.com and splash it across social media. Am sure many will volunteer.” For the first time, ‘Pandit’ Ghusanewala smiled. Boss, even I can be an Ustad.
