Working from home means shaving off considerable commute time, which means you have more time to read, write letters, do some gardening, yoga or vegetate in front of a screen — had to give the healthy options first. In the digital ocean of content, you could either scare yourself silly watching Steven Soderbergh’s excellent Contagion (2009) — cheap thrills in terms of seeing the inside of Gwyneth Paltrow’s goopy head notwithstanding — the extremely well put together Malayalam film, Virus (2019), Netflix’s hideously prescient documentary series Pandemic , or you could go for some good old fashioned escapism in the form of creature features.
The fun thing about these films is the threat is always nullified at the end of the film. There is a way to counter the threat. No matter how big the snake or how many sharp teeth the shark has, there will always be a Chief Brody to kill it with an oxygen tank. Though strictly speaking, the Alien movies can be classified as creature features in space, Jurassic Park is about, well dinosaurs running amok in a theme park and Godzilla is a giant radioactive lizard, they come under sci-fi, and would be better served in a different list.
Meanwhile , The Ghost and the Darkness (1996) features Michael Douglas going after the man-eaters of Tsavo, lions that killed numerous workers laying the Uganda-Mombasa Railway line in 1898. It doesn’t feature on this list as it is more adventure and the lions were being sensible protecting their habitat. Douglas comes across as rather silly with culturally appropriated dances and what not.
So here goes a list of the happiest clash of paws, claws and jaws.
Jaws (1975)
Okay this is the big daddy of all creature features. The beach party, the girl going skinny dipping, John Williams’ ominous score, the shark-eye cam, the flash of a wicked tail fin, the dead eyes and the cruel teeth all contributed to laying the template for the summer blockbuster. Based on Peter Benchley’s eponymous novel, Jaws starred Roy Scheider as police chief Martin Brody who with oceanographer Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) and shark hunter Quint (Robert Shaw) — there will always be an Ahab, go hunting for the man-eating great white. The suggestion of the shark rather than the whole shark, was due to the many mechanical failures of the shark model, but it worked exceedingly well to build the tension. What the mind imagines is usually worse than reality. Oh and incidentally the film was directed by Steven Spielberg.
Anaconda (1997)
Where does one start with this movie directed by Luis Llosa? Is it Jennifer Lopez as serious documentary filmmaker before she became JLo? Or the big, fat anaconda slithering here and there and performing feats of preternatural skill that could drive herpetologists into frothing fits of fury? There is also Jon Voight chewing up the scenery as the Ahab style hunter. He gets his just desserts when the anaconda gobbles him up and then throws up — obviously could not digest his bad acting. The movie spawned a series and crossover, but nothing matches the joy of the first movie.
Lake Placid (1999)
This movie about a giant crocodile terrorising the good people of Black Lake in Maine is a must watch for the dear old lady who feeds the grinning crocodile with sundry cows and her husband. Oliver Platt as mythology professor Hector Cyr is fun while Bridget Fonda shows off her tanned legs as a paleontologist from the American Museum of Natural History. Brendan Gleeson before he was the tenacious Bill Hodges ( Mr Mercedes ) plays the thankless role of the Sheriff Hank Keough, while Bill Pullman is Fish and Game officer Jack Wells. The scene where the crocodile jumps out of the lake to eat the bear is delicious eye candy.
Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Samuel L Jackson being eaten mid-sentence is the highlight of this film about genetically engineered mako sharks. It seems like something Dr Evil would think up given his fondness for sharks with lasers attached to their heads so they can have a hot meal. Directed by Renny Harlin ( Cliffhanger ! Die Hard 2 !) the film stars Saffron Burrows as the scientist and rapper LL Cool J as the chef with the coolest lines. He also contributed two songs—‘Deepest Bluest (Shark's Fin)’ and ‘Say What’.
Piranha 3D (2010)
This film image released by The Weinstein Company shows Matt Bush, left, and Danielle Panabaker are shown in a scene from "Piranha 3DD." (AP Photo/The Weinstein Company)
This irreverent take on monster movies is as grisly as it is funny. The prehistoric piranha, which swim out of a crevice after an earthquake have big goo-goo eyes and shiny serrated teeth and attack everyone from seismologists to pornographers and wet t-shirt contestants. Directed by Alexandre Aja ( The Hills Have Eyes ), the film stars the lovely Elisabeth Shue as cop Julie Forester, Ving Rhames as her deputy and Steven R. McQueen (grandson of king of cool, Steve McQueen) as her son, Jake.
Richard Dreyfuss, the shark expert from Jaws is the first victim of the piranha attack even as he sings ‘Show me the way to go home’, which if you remember is what he sang on the way back from killing the shark in Jaws . That is how knowing the film is! Added bonus is Christopher Lloyd (Doc from The Back to the Future movies) as retired marine biologist Carl Goodman who identifies the piranha.
