Some call life a roller-coaster; some call happiness a slice of life and someone called life a bed of roses. Popular idioms, phrases and slogans contain age-old, well-lived, innate human understanding and wisdom gained in the act of living, through the thousands of years that we humans have been in existence. Wisdom is essentially experience coupled with grounding in them to live a wiser, a more knowing version 2.0 ahead. To me this wiser version is about being able to see beyond the obvious, to recognise colours beyond the primary hues, to tune into notes beyond the C major on the keys, to appreciate the myriad shades of grey that stand prominently with black and white.
My incurable mind mulls over rather unusual issues thinking of these adages! If happiness is only a slice of life, why do we seldom acknowledge the remaining big or tiny slices? If life is a roller-coaster wouldn’t we be safest strapping in with the best choices available — why then do we not practise ‘safe’? The truth about the abundance of thorns amongst roses is much known, but then why do we become aware of them much later in adulthood?
Contradictions
Life, right about where I am today, has surfaced many contradictions that co-exist and cohabit making life a worthwhile pile of experiences. Up ahead I share some of these as life’s Realities . My own insight into these Realities came at unconnected timeframes and in their individual propensity for a special appearance in this movie of life — sometimes as a slow, conscious stream of insight, sometimes as a bolt of realisation or in a finite gut-lurching ‘Aha’ moment.
I give you a random entry of some valuable Realities — seemingly disparate, indifferent concepts that must be strapped together to make the roller-coaster of life least bumpy:
Saying No and Respect
Love and Self Love
Love and Setting Boundaries
Love and Firmness
Vulnerability and Courage
Serendipity and Intention
Openness and Ambition
Scared and Brave
Curiosity and Learning
Success and Humility
Smart and Not Knowing
Words and Silence
Being Teacher and being Student
Strength and Emotions
While these un-seeming partners will flourish together on the ride of Life, some other Realities, when paired together are bound to cause derailment and mishap on the tracks. I must say that I learned about some in my own mistakes and misdemeanours:
Friendship and Judgment
Gratefulness and Entitlement
Gratefulness and Expectation
Happiness and Assumption
Expectation and Satisfaction
To be right and To be free
Response and reaction
Should and Must
Clarity and Obsession
Brave and Defensive
Discipline and Insincerity
Simplicity and Perfection
Let me offer you reprieve from this conceptual listing in Shel Silverstein’s delightful ‘Zebra Questions’ that talks to the kid in us:
I asked the zebra
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?
And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy days?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
Simply put, the poem’s message of looking at things from a different perspective also applies to how we look at our situations in age-old, perceptually positive or negative brackets.
It is a commentary on our conditioning, on how easily we say love or hate. A fitting example is in the age-old understanding of respect as saying Yes. With growth we recognise that ‘saying No’ is essential to Respect, because saying a Yes when we mean a No is being dishonest and Respect is wholly about honesty.
If you wish to, go through each one of these good and bad partnership Realities and see how you relate to them ordinarily in your daily living. If some make sense, adopt, cast away or practise.
The author is a freelance writer, blogger, and life coach. nivedita@lifealigncoaching.com
