I once had a friend who asked to borrow a weighing scale because she needed to weigh her luggage. I loaned her mine and asked her how come she didn’t own one — I knew she took health and fitness very seriously. She said to me, “I don’t believe in weighing scales” (later in the day, I watched her carry a 45 inch TV up a flight of stairs by herself).
I realised many years later what my friend actually meant. She didn’t need to monitor numbers on a scale to tell her that she was healthy. If she felt good about her body and in her own skin, that was comfort enough.
In a world where we’re constantly fed images of seemingly perfect people leading seemingly perfect lives on social media, it’s easy to start having negative feelings about one’s body and self. These feelings can impact the way you go about your daily work, and, as some studies suggest, can even impact your academic performance. It becomes all the more important for us to be kind to ourselves and not judge ourselves harshly on our appearance. So how do we start feeling better about ourselves?
Some ideas just for you
Get in touch with your body through mindfulness meditation: You don’t need to join a class for guided mindfulness meditation. There are enough instructional videos and apps available online for free. A few minutes of mindfulness a day will get you more in tune with your body, while also helping clear the clutter from your mind and prepare you for the rest of the day.
Start appreciating the more subtle aspects of having a healthy body: Rather than having weight loss/weight gain as the only goal, be conscious of small victories in your daily life. Maybe you managed to climb a tricky flight of stairs without pausing for a breath, or went trekking for the first time, or even just managed to get through a work day without back pain. If it’s something you couldn’t do before but you can now, it’s a cause for celebration!
Think about the other side of your social media feed: People generally want to showcase the best aspects of their lives online. They probably have similar difficulties or insecurities as you do, just that they don’t broadcast those with the same frequency or fanfare as their photos of a recent beach vacation.
Write letters: Studies suggest that writing compassionate messages for yourself can help you feel more positive about your body. What are the things about your body that you like? What are you grateful for? It might seem cheesy, but this exercise would only take 15 minutes. Putting your thoughts down will help you broaden your perspective and perhaps allow you to see positives about yourself that were not apparent before.
If you think you need it, get help: If there are aspects of your appearance that you are dissatisfied with, to the extent that you feel that thoughts about it are interfering with your ability to go about your daily life, then there’s nothing wrong in seeking help. Consult the right professionals — doctors, psychologists, nutritionists — so that any treatment you opt for is something that you can receive the right kind of support on.
Decide to be kinder to yourself, starting today. To paraphrase the words of RuPaul Charles, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”.
The author is a psychologist and management consultant. krithvis@gmail.com
