A delectable double-fudge chocolate cake versus a fruit platter. Checking your phone every time it pings, instead of completing your assignment. Sleeping in for an extra half hour in lieu of dragging yourself to the gym. Yes, temptations assume various avatars, and we must muster sufficient self-control to combat them. And, that can be exhausting, so we often give in, only to regret our actions later. But understanding how self-control evolves and operates, can help us from falling prey to temptation.
Early start
Walter Mischel, whose name is now synonymous with the classic “marshmallow experiments”, has devoted his career to studying self-control. In the famed experiment, conducted in the 1960’s, preschoolers were presented with the choice of eating one marshmallow immediately, or waiting for 15 minutes to eat two. More than 500 kids were tested between 1968 and 1974. Of course, Mischel and his team have to be lauded for tenacity, as they followed up with this sample every decade, even as their participants morphed into 40-year-olds. At the first follow-up, researchers discovered that those who delayed longer as preschoolers exhibited more self-control, were less distractable, more self-reliant, and had better SAT scores during adolescence. As they moved onto adulthood, the ones who were able to resist the immediate temptation in preschool were less likely to use drugs, were more educated, and less likely to be obese.
But, before we conclude that our ability to assert self-control is determined as early as preschool, take heart. While Mischel acknowledges that some people can exercise self-control more easily than others, “almost everybody can find ways to make it easier.” He also makes a distinction between two brain systems. The first, called the “hot system” is what makes us devour that chocolate cake. It more or less operates automatically or reflexively, and is roused easily by emotions. The second, “cool system,” is more calm and collected. Though it is slower to get activated, it tends to be cognitive and reflective, and matures more slowly.
One way to avoid the hot system taking over is to imagine how you would advise someone else to behave in the same situation. Suppose, a good friend has an important exam in a week’s time, would you tell him to skip the movie and study instead? Giving counsel to someone else is always easier, as our hot systems are not activated.
Another method that Mischel suggests is to make If-then plans beforehand, so that you don’t have to make a decision on the spot. If I am served chocolate cake after lunch, I will ask for green tea instead. If my friends ping me, I will not look at my phone between 4 and 6 p.m. If my professor gives us an assignment this weekend, I will start working on it on Saturday itself. Making such contingency plans will help you stick to your resolve.
In an article in The New York Times , psychologist David DeSteno discusses how we can capitalise on positive emotions to exercise self-control. He has found that when people were asked to recall an event that made them feel grateful or proud, they were more willing “to wait for a future reward.” So, if you want to enhance your self-control DeSteno urges you to reflect on things you are grateful for and to take pride in your achievements, no matter how big or small. Now that you are armed with an arsenal of methods, hopefully, you too can learn to waylay the hot system most of the time.
The author is Director, PRAYATNA. arunasankara@gmail.com
