We are going through a charged political climate, a time where people have taken to the streets to publicly voice their views in a way that hasn’t been witnessed by our country in a long while. Every day, we witness debates, sometimes handled peaceably, and sometimes provoking violence, as people try to convince each other about the validity of their position.
Changing someone’s mind isn’t an easy thing to do. You are in essence asking them to admit that their original way of thinking about something was flawed.
An opinion tends to get nurtured during our early years and become further bolstered every time we experience events that validate it, read articles or watch videos that are favourable to it, or interact with like-minded individuals.
Debate starter pack
So, how do you influence someone to change their opinion, without having to wave a gun about or start a Twitter war? Here are some ideas:
Do your research:
Make sure that you have read up on your position and have all the facts at hand. It is also helpful to study the other individual’s position, if you know what it is, so that you can pre-empt what arguments they are likely to make to counter your own.
Pick the right time:
Perhaps your listener has had a bad day, is preoccupied about something, or has skipped their lunch (never underestimate how irrational a person can be on an empty stomach). If you know about her/his situation, demonstrate empathy and put off talking to them, until they are in a better frame of mind to listen and engage in a dialogue with you.
Consider your audience’s likes:
What will make a compelling argument for your listener? Maybe they respond positively to videos and other media; or, they may like to know what public figures, who they admire, think about the issue. Or better still, perhaps, their own self-interest and well-being could be impacted by the issue you are discussing; in this case, you could draw a more personal connection to your argument when trying to win them over, and help them look at the issue from a new lens.
Avoid focusing on the other’s wrong:
Emphasise on why you could be the right one, rather than focussing on why the other person is wrong. When someone changes their mind, they inherently accept that their initial position was flawed, but they wouldn’t like to be reminded of it.
Use logic with the right audience:
We often like to quote data and facts to convince people of our position. However, sometimes, people don’t care what the data says, even if you think the truth is staring them in the face. So, spend more time in crafting an argument that interests the individual. The tactic of throwing numbers and reports at everyone who opposes your views can only get you so far.
If you hit a stalemate, take a break:
There will be situations where you might be unable to change someone’s mind; your arguments may even have the opposite effect, and end up pushing them to hold on to their beliefs even tighter. In times like this, there is no harm in putting a pause in your efforts, taking a breather and trying again later.
You may not always be successful at influencing someone’s opinion; but at least, you will know that you tried your best in a civil discourse.
The writer is a psychologist and management consultant. krithvis@gmail.com
